One
by RockinTheOC
Summary: Final Chapter up! What will Summer's answer be? SS Future fic. R&R please. COMPLETE
1. Fear of Flying

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Rating: Most likely PG-13 for most parts.

Note: Title and summary is from U2's One. This will be a songfic, sort of. 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Not the show, not the song, nothing.

Please read and review my first attempt at fan fiction. 

****

One

1: Fear of Flying

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I got a fear of flying on a plane   
Cause we got no say on how it ends up   
Well in my mind love's the very same way   
That's why I never give my heart to no one   
  
I never take a chance   
On a love that lifts me off the ground   
I came to Earth found things   
But I wanna spread my wings somehow, somehow   
  
Listen   
I've been in love but I fell to fast   
I found myself in turbulent skies   
I felt the hurt when I crashed and burned   
Then I found myself with tears in my eyes   
  
But when you look at me   
Something says it's gonna be alright, alright   
And all my fears I'll face   
Cause I think I'm gonna take this flight, oh   
  
Fear of flying high   
It's all in my mind   
Voices in the wind   
Think I'm flying now, flying now, flying now   
  


She hated flying. In fact, she had a terrible fear of flying, which was ironic. She had taken dozens of trips to Europe, Asia, the Caribbean, and South Pacific as a child, but now she got antsy and nervous every time she set foot on an airplane. She much preferred boats. There was no feeling like sitting in a speedboat, glass of champagne in hand, with the summer's breeze, her breeze, whipping through her hair, giving it the salty sexed up look. She loved that when she was on one of those boats, she didn't have a care in the world. Nowadays, there wasn't much time or opportunity for thoughts like that. Now she lived on the East Coast, where the waves were more choppy and cold, unlike the warmer inviting waters of the Pacific Ocean. And there weren't many people in the city (whom she knew) who had speedboats or even sailboats. Most of the boats she had been on were luxurious yachts that sailed around the harbor during a dinner/charity/benefit gala or something. And that wasn't bad, but it wasn't half as exciting either. Sometimes she would buy a ticket on the Staten Island Ferry and stand on the top deck, letting the wind whip through her hair, and feeling the mist of the water on her cheeks. Moisture running over her face, her arms, her foot. Her foot? She shook some liquid off of her Jimmy Choo sandals and glared at the person to her left. 

The old man sitting next to her accidentally knocked over his glass of wine while sleeping. She was annoyed, but shrugged it off. She was trying to be a more patient person. At least she was in first class. If she was going to fly, she would not be caught dead cramped in between two noisy children with another kicking her seat in the back. That was not something that she would ever subject herself to ever. It's not like she didn't like children, it's just that she didn't like ones that didn't behave. In her mind that was all of them. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now preparing for landing. Please return to your seats and stow any carry on luggage that had been moved during the flight. Return your seat backs to the upright position and thank you for flying Virgin Atlantic."

She tucked the magazine, some British tabloid, into her Prada bag. Summer Roberts had just spent the last week in London, attending a play opening in the west end. She took out her mirror and expertly reapplied any makeup that had rubbed off during the long flight. Already she could see the lights of New York shining from her window. London had been fun, but now it was back to the states and back to work. 

***

"Ms. Roberts! Ms. Roberts, you're back!" Summer stopped in her tracks and cringed at the sound of a junior layout designer. Hardly anyone called her "Ms. Roberts," it made her sound like a teacher or something. The rail thin, blonde model looking girl was no more than 20 years old. _Why did the magazine hire people like this? _She probably didn't have any experience and was most likely hired more for desirable image than credibility. It seemed that _Skin_ magazine hired lots of their employees that way. Maybe even Summer. She put on a fake smile and turned, blinding the poor girl with her teeth.

"Yep, I'm back. Did you get the layout for my piece that I faxed to you guys? Everything should be a go on this issue."

"We received your article, but have a few questions on uh, what pictures you think would be, um, fitting for it."

Summer tapped her heels impatiently, waiting for the girl to finish spitting out her sentence.

"You done?" The girl nodded. "Look, I don't care what pictures go with it, take it up with my assistant, she'll know what I want"

"Oh, thank you Ms. Roberts, sorry for interrupting you."

"It's fine." 

She didn't really mean to be so harsh, but she was very busy and had more important things to worry about than what pictures to use on her article about some new restaurants that had just opened up on the Upper East Side. I mean, couldn't they just find pictures of those restaurants? It seemed simple to her. 

Whatever. She had been working for _Skin Deep _for about 3 years. She was the a features writer, in fact, she had her own monthly column in which she gave tips on what was hot, and what was not in terms of style, new restaurants, entertainment, and celebrities. She pretty much wrote about anything, her opinion on whatever. Sometimes it was even social happenings, or even household tips or recipes. The most accurate way she had ever heard anyone describe her was that she was "all 5 queer eye guys rolled up into one petite powerhouse." 

__

Skin Deep pretty much let her write about anything, whether it was Jennifer Aniston's trip to the dentist or Britney's choice of toilet paper. The fact of the matter was that Summer single-handedly put _Skin _on the map. Before she came to write for them, they had been a trashy fashion-celebrity rag that was hidden behind the likes of _InStyle, Marie Claire_, and _Cosmo_. Now it was placed in the front row with all the other major players. She had been the hottest thing to hit the magazine world in a while. She had a huge fan following, with hundreds of emails and letters pouring into the Manhattan office daily from admirers looking for advice, tips, and dates. It was probably because she was brutally honest with everything she wrote. If she didn't like a restaurant, she wouldn't openly blast it, but point out some things that were not too particularly appealing. And if she liked a particular designer's summer line, it would sell out before most places in the country had even received any of those products. Hell her opinion and audacity had always gotten her places before, so she figured she'd milk it for a career. 

However, Summer's writing had not made the magazine so huge on its own. When she first started, her articles were lost on the radar's as much as the next unknown. But, as fate would have it, she met a guy at a bar who worked for Vh1 casting. When he heard she wrote for a (semi)legitimate publication, he immediately cast her to comment on the next Vh1 special on hot celebrities. You know, the ones that are on 24 hours a day. Hottest hotties, Bad Girls, Robbing the Cradle? Yeah, those. The exposure proved to be a bigger boost than she thought; suddenly industry people knew her as the hot brunette from those specials. And regular people found out how quick witted and intelligent she could be. Suddenly, _Skin_ was selling a lot more magazines. And Summer got a hefty raise. And she became a fairly well known name…well, as well known as a journalist could get (i.e. Joel Stein from _Time_ and that guy with the glasses from _the Village Voice_). 

Summer sat at her desk, with nothing particular to do. She had finished her next article about Fashion week and a review of that new show in London. She knew she wrote fluff, but she didn't really care. She successfully parlayed her interests into a career. And she could make a romantic teen comedy sound like a brilliant Shakespeare play in her summaries. It was fairly satisfying, for now. One day, she hoped to move onto a more critically acceptable magazine, but this would do as her stepping stone. Summer picked up her bag and walked past her assistant, who was on the phone. 

"Katie, I'm not feeling so well, so I'm leaving early today. If anything comes up call me, and make sure you take another look at the layout before you go. Drop off the final draft with the doorman and then have a good weekend. I'll see you Monday."

Katie nodded, as she tried to comprehend the two conversations that had gone on at the same time. Ok, so Summer wasn't so patient. She was _trying_.

"Hey, how's my little baby today? Were you a good boy?" Summer knelt and received a welcome home lick from her Shiba-Inu, Kenji. He wagged his tail and ran around the apartment as to signal the arrival of his owner. She dragged the four shopping bags into the apartment. She decided to go shopping; shopping was the best cure to any ailment. And Barney's was like the best hospital ever. She pulled out a pair of Prada boots and admired the craftsmanship. She did the same with her Gucci handbag, Burberry cape, and Narciso Rodriguez top. Ah, to be in the fashion business. She knew all the managers at all the major stores and held considerable power over them. If they wanted a good review, then they would also want her to look nice in their clothes, at a much lower price, if anything at all. 

Kenji had busied himself with a smaller bag that had been hidden behind the bigger Barney's ones. 

"No, Kenji, don't try to destroy Mommy's food. She hasn't had anything to eat today." Summer's stomach growled as the smell of pad Thai and mee krob wafted out of the bag. "in fact, Mommy's gonna eat some right now."

She didn't really feel like going out tonight. And that was saying something. Summer Roberts was well known for being everywhere that was anywhere. People probably thought she was Paris and Nicky's long lost brunette sister. Practically every night was spent at a bar, club, restaurant, gallery opening, or show. It's not like the whole weekend was lost though. She was already going to a dinner party the next night, so she decided she'd give herself a much needed night of relaxation and meditation. 

She laughed at the so-terrible-it-was-funny series on TV. How did this stuff get on TV? Probably because people like her watched it, even though she'd probably given it a not so good review in her article a few months prior. She'd already spent an hour gobbling down all the assorted dishes she had picked from her favorite Thai restaurant and watching the most terrible television known to mankind. Summer cleaned up the food containers and noticed Kenji following her every move with his eyes. 

"Okay, I get it. I gotta take you for a walk." She grabbed a few poop bags and was dragged out the door by her very strong dog. 

***

Summer leafed through the mail as Kenji happily chewed on his squeaky kitty. Bills, bills, bills, magazines, bank statement. _Hello, what is this?_ Her fingers felt the weighted paper that she could tell had come from Cranes. _So pretty…_her fingers traced the envelope and the raised black letters. She carefully opened it and read the sheet that was inside.

"Oh. My. God. Holy shit…" 

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Fear of Flying by Mya


	2. Caught by the River

Rating: high PG-13 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Thanks for the reviews! Please continue reading and reviewing J 

One by Amy

2: Caught by the River

_Holy shit._ His head throbbed like a mother. Seth had no idea where he was. That's what alcohol binges do to a person. He thought he would have developed a better resistance to the stuff as much as he drank, but he still felt shitty every time. He felt something shift beside him and turned to see a brunette splayed out over the other side of the bed. _Damn, what was her name?_ Whatever, it's not like he'd ever see her again. 

He slowly lowered himself off the bed, as to not wake her up, I mean, he still had a little bit of courtesy to his one night stand. Or maybe he just didn't want her to be like, "Call me soon?" and have to lie openly to her face. He slipped on his pants and shirt and silently slipped out of the hotel room. 

Getting his Porsche from the valet, he sat in the parking lot for a while before shifting into gear. Another drunken night, another drunken model/actress/whatever, another morning filled with remorseful thoughts. Well, sometimes he felt really bad, but today, he only felt a slight tinge of sadness. He wondered when his life turned into a 24 hour alcohol festival; when he stopped caring. When he lost faith. When he lost his innocence. Actually, he remembered the exact moment, the exact millisecond, but he didn't want to. But no matter now much he tried to put everything in his past in it's rightful place back there, he couldn't. His past haunted him everyday and it would continue to, until he could rectify the situation…which was never. 

He sped off onto Sunset, not looking back. There was no time for thoughts like this anymore. That's right. To all of the nay nay-sayers and bullies who had called him worthless and gay, he was now _someone._ He had a multimillion dollar mansion now. He had the sports cars and girlfriends other people killed for. He couldn't wait to show everyone what he had done with his life. What he had become. And what he had become was a very important person. In fact, _he_ was the big shot now. And _he _had a television show to go shoot. 

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Son what have you done?   
You're caught by the river   
You're coming undone   
Life you know it can't be so easy   
But you can't just leave it   
'Cause you're not in control no more   


And you give it all away   
Would you give it all away now?   
Don't let it come apart   
Don't want to see you come apart   


Son what are you doing?   
You learned a hard lesson   
When you stood by the water   
You and I were so full of love and hope   


Would you give it all up now?   
Would you give in just to spite them all?   
And you give it all away   
Would you give it all away now?   
Don't let it come apart   
Don't want to see you come apart   


Cause you give it all away   
And you give it all away now   
Don't let it come apart   
Don't want to see you come apart   


Lay, I lay in the long grass   
So many people   
So many people pass   
Stay, stay here and lie on back   
Get down in the cornfields   
Stay till we're caught at last   
Give it all away   
Give it all away   
Don't let it come apart   
Don't want to see you come apart 

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Caught by the River by the Doves


	3. Mondays are the Worst

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Rating for this chapter: PG 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Thanks for the reviews! Please continue reading and reviewing J 

One 

Chapter 3: Mondays are the worst

Summer lazily strolled down Madison, toting, of course, many shopping bags. After reading the card last Friday, she needed some more retail therapy, even though it was a few days late. She began to feel sick again, just thinking of it. Summer was scared. Scared of what was to inevitably come of these unexpected events. In her mind, she felt the cardstock again, reading the glittery black cursive on the invitation. _We request your presence at the engagement dinner of Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper…_ Summer had known this was bound to happen sometime soon, but she was hoping soon was like in ten to fifteen years from now. Everything was so soon, so sudden. She didn't want to return to Newport again. After all, it had been about a decade since the last time she was there. Sure, her job had taken her to Los Angeles many, many times, but she could never take that next step and drive down past the Orange Curtain. _Why did you do this to me, Coop? _Her mind fought it, but she knew it was for her own good; it was time to face her demons. The demons of her past. _Speaking of demons, I better get back to the office soon for the meeting. _She did not really want to see her editors mad right now. She passed by the all too familiar marble façade with the gleaming glass display cases, and she couldn't help it. Glancing at her watch, Summer decided that she still had a little bit more time until she really _had_ to get back from her 3.5 hour lunch break. A woman walked out with a beautiful robin egg colored bag which made Summer twitch with jealousy. _A little trip to Tiffany's never hurt anyone. And I could even pick up a gift for Coop and Chino. And if I happen to pick up some trinkets for myself to ease the pain, then so be it._

***

Summer sat in the conference room while the editors painfully went through every page on the new issue before it was sent to the printer. Her article had passed by about ten pages before, so now she was bored out of her mind. If the other pieces had been about something interesting other than the same articles about the right hairstyle for your face, she might be a little more involved in the process. And yes, it was a shock to hear that she didn't want to hear about good lip colors and blushes, but after working at _Skin_ _Deep _for as long as she did, she had read everything she'd ever wanted to know about those topics. 

"Alright, so everything looks good?" Marcy Patton, the head editor a.k.a. the CEO's daughter asked to the room full of people. Everyone nodded in agreement, hoping that this was it, "Ok, well, it's set to print then. And as an early present, I have next month's assignments ordered by department." Everyone groaned. Summer was already done with next month's article, she didn't care. She hightailed it out of there. 

"Any calls, Katie?"

"Yep, a ton. I left the message pad on your desk."

"Thanks a lot, how was your weekend?" The only person Summer wasn't outwardly hostile to most of the time was her personal assistant. That's mostly because Summer didn't have many friends at the office. Surprise, surprise. She had no family in the area. Even if she did, most of her uncles and aunts didn't care about her and her cousins were all too old or too young to hang out with. That left her alone. Which is why it was comforting to hear about someone else's life. Sometimes. 

"It was terrible, my sister was sick the whole time, so I had to stay with her. But I did get a chance to catch up on some TV," she rolled her eyes, as she was as much a party girl as Summer.

"Oh, yeah? What'd you watch?" Summer flipped through her mail, not really paying attention.

"Ohmigod. I saw the best show like ever. I don't know what it's called, but it's about these kids who live in California and are filthy rich and spoiled. It was awesome. You should really check it out; I bet a lot of our readers would love to watch a show like that. You could even write about it," Katie smiled triumphantly, after coming up with the great tip herself.

Summer nodded having already lost interest. "Oh, I'd like to, but I'm not usually around on the weekends."

"No, it's not usually on Fridays, it was an additional airing. It's usually on Tuesday nights at 9."

"Oh, ok. Thanks for the tip. I'll be in my office if anyone else calls," she made an effort to smile. Katie couldn't help it. She was still a kid who was so excited about the prospects of working for a real magazine, for a real writer. Summer had hired her because she displayed the youthful exuberance she once had towards life. The same energy that had been sucked out all those years ago, probably around the time she was 4 or 5 years old.

***

Summer sat in her leather chair, admiring clothes that her fashion department had just brought up to her. So many textures and colors. She loved this job! The higher employees got first dibs on everything, but everyone else got their fair share of the Hermes and Dior also. The best thing about being a recognized writer, people at the fashion houses knew her name. "Please send these gifts of our appreciation to the kind reviews of Summer Roberts. Love, Silvia Venturini Fendi," gushed the note that was sent with three new handbags. "Thank you so much to Summer, for her gracious and ever positive review of our show. Diane von Furstenberg," a card joining a gorgeous cream colored wrap dress cried. 

"Summer, you have a call on line one," Katie spoke on the speaker phone. Summer hated when Katie would not tell her who was on the line. What if she didn't want to talk to that person, like say her step-mother, or something. _Well, whatever. I'm sure it's just some up and coming who wants me to pay attention to their products._

"Hello? Summer Roberts." Summer flipped open a magazine and started skimming.

"Summer? Hey!" She dropped the magazine.

"Coop?"

"Hi, how are you!" Marissa sounded very hesitant. She was kind of scared of Summer's reaction to her calling her, after not informing her about the engagement. After all, they hadn't really talked in a few months. 

"I'm fine. You're obviously doing really well. Congrats!" Summer was an excellent actress and she felt her voice was devoid of any emotions that would give anything away. I mean, ask any man she has dated. However, if Marissa had seen her face, she would have seen the look of sadness that washed over her. Coop was like her best and only _real _friend. She had many "friends" in New York and in the fashion industry, but she knew that they were secretly wishing for her downfall one day. And in LA? Well, you could forget about it. Summer Roberts stood alone.

"Thanks. Listen, I'm sorry for not calling you sooner. I tried once a week or two ago, but your secretary said you were out of the country. And then things just got really hectic, and I couldn't call you…" 

Bullshit. "No, no it's fine sweetie. I'm just glad I received an invite. We really should get together sometime. It feels like I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Yeah, I'd love that. Summer, I wanted to ask you something."

"Can I get you a Vera Wang gown at a good price? Say no more."

"No, no it's not that, although that's a really really good idea, come to think about it," Marissa giggled. Summer smiled into the receiver.

"Okay, then shoot."

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to be my co-maid of honor. I mean, you've been my oldest friends throughout the years and have stuck with me through everything. And Ryan and I, _both_ want you in this wedding," Summer listened as Marissa spoke, slowly getting a little emotional, but not teary. Summer did not cry for anyone under any circumstance. Coop was asking her to be a maid of honor. She still valued their friendship as much as Summer did.

"Summer?" 

"Oh! Of course I'd love to be a maid of honor. Thank you sooo much. This means a lot to me, Coop. I have to start planning your bridal shower and bachelorette party now!"

"About that," _Uh-oh, what was she going to say next, _"Ryan and I were kind of hoping to have one big party- like for the both of us, instead of doing the whole male stripper, getting wasted thing."

"I like the thought. I've been to a lot of those this year, and let me say tres chic."

"Of course you're going to have to plan the thing out with the best man, but I mean…"

And there it was. Even though Coop had not even said his name, Summer knew it was coming. She had been building up defenses for years, but she found that her arsenal would never be ready for the thoughts of him again. 

"Those are small details that can be dealt with later." Marissa heard the change in Summer's voice. She heard the anger and the defeat. She hoped that the wedding would allow the two to settle their differences once and for all, so that everyone could get on with their lives. 

"So, who's the other co-maid of honor," Summer changed the subject as fast as she could. 

"Caitlin. I thought maybe she could handle it, but you know, she's still in school and not over 21, so major party planning at any nightspots is out of the question for her."

"Well, that's cool. When's the wedding going to be?"

"June 21st, at the Ritz." Summer was jealous; she had always wanted to get married there. At the rate she was going, that was never going to happen. 

"That doesn't give us a lot of time for everything, it's like 7 months away."

"I know, but we don't care if it's too small. I mean, compared to me, he hardly has any guests. And my mother, you should see her. I think she's embarrassed still. There are gonna be like no Newpsies there."

"That's great. It really is." Her tone was flat as hell.

"Oh, Summer I'm so sorry. You're probably in the middle of something important. I shouldn't have called you here. It's just that your cell phone is always off or something…"

"Don't worry about it. You can call whatever number you want. Listen, I gotta go down to the image layout department, but I'll call you later ok? Then maybe we can plan my flights and everything."

"Okay, thanks Summer. I'll see you soon, bye!"

Summer was kind of nauseated. She couldn't not get over the whole "best man" thing. She would try to be an adult, for the first time in her life, and put things in the past where they belonged. Coop was finally happy, and she would be damned if her wedding wasn't the best day ever. 


	4. For You to Notice

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Rating for this chapter: PG 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Thanks for the reviews! Please continue reading and reviewing J 

Note: Instead of making them juniors this year, I've decided to make them seniors in '04. 

****

One

Chapter 4: For You to Notice

Late January 2004

Summer lay on the sand, basking in the sun's radiance. It was times like these when she was sooo happy to be living in Southern California, where the high temperature for the day was 79 degrees. Winter was so festive and warm, not cold and dreary. She was reading her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, an English assignment, but secretly her favorite novel. She loved how Mr. Darcy was roguish and so unlike his peers. He was special, a little bit of a societal outcast, but Elizabeth saw through the whole exterior to his inner beauty. Mr. Darcy didn't care what people thought about him; he just was, he didn't conform to anyone else's standards. She admired that about him. Summer wished she could find a dark, handsome man like him. She's really much prefer a Ferrari rather than a real horse though. She smiled, caught up in her daydream. A shadow cast its presence over her. 

"Coop? You're blocking my light." The figure didn't move. "Coop!" Summer turned to see Seth staring back at her, "Stalker much?"

"Sorry. Um, Marissa's kinda busy with Ryan, so she sent me to messenger the message." 

He looked toward the sand and shuffled his feet around. She thought it was still cute how he got flustered around her. In all honesty, she thought he had gotten over this phase. He had been with Anna, which didn't work out (which had _nothing _to do with her). She thought his confidence would have been boosted, but it was back to square one. After the whole Anna thing was over, Summer really wasn't sure if she really wanted to go after Cohen. It was a new year, the second semester of their senior year of high school. Her popularity was starting to rise again after the whole Chino-Luke, Tijuana, and Oliver debacle. But there was another reason. He was so sweet, but she had a reputation for leaving broken men all over the 949 and 714. Surprising even herself, she actually cared about another human being's feelings. So Summer didn't pursue it, hoping that he would grow the balls to. And Seth was working at it, but not getting anywhere fast. 

"So, what's new with you?"

"Um, I finally finished my applications."

"Wow, Cohen, aren't we procrastinating a bit? I finished all of mine by Winter Break."

"Well, aren't we prepared. That's so unlike you to think that seriously about things other than products made by stila and kiehl's."

"Well, unlike others, we learn to better ourselves," she bit down slightly on her thumb, "So, which schools did you apply to?"

"Berkeley, UCLA, UCSD, UCI, Chapman, Stanford, and the mother of all schools, USC."

"Wow, looks like we applied to pretty much the same places. Except add Duke and Rice to the list for me." A few months back, if you had told her that she, Summer Roberts would be discussing college with Seth Cohen, she would have definitely "Ew"ed. But she kind of felt like she was growing up. 

"Awesome," he nervously looked around, "Which one do you want to go to?"

"I think USC. They have a great English department, and a really great International Relations department. And I really want to be involved in like writer for some huge magazine that's like global. Maybe I'll work in London or Milan." She giggled and he melted.

"Yeah, I want to go there for the Film School. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get in under that major, since my last name isn't Spielberg or Gibson or anything, so I applied as an English major. Eventually I'd want to take some media writing classes."

"Really? What kind of things do you write?"

He sheepishly grinned, "Comic books and stories like that."

"Ugg, Cohen, that's soo typical."

"Well you want to write for Teen People or whatever." She shot him a sarcastic look.

He cowered in mock fear. She loved it. He was so endearing for some reason. She couldn't figure it out. She treated him like trash and he still followed her around pining from afar. He loved her. 

He loved her. She was so beautiful and perfect, she just didn't know it. As soon as school started up after Winter Break, it had gone back to the ways before Ryan had come to Newport. He hung out with Ryan, but with Anna gone, he had no one else. And now Ryan was _always _with Marissa. And Summer, she went back to the gaggle of girls that were soon to become Newpsies. There was Luke, but there was no chance in hell of that ever happening. He wanted Summer to realize that she was better than everyone else. That she didn't need to create a façade because she was great just the way she was. But she ignored him at school. And he slowly crawled back into his bat cave. 

Her cell phone rang. It was Bridgette, calling to see if she wanted to go to Fashion Island before it closed. She just didn't turn down opportunities to go to Bloomindales.

"Sorry, Cohen, I've got to go. I'll see you around, ok?" 

"Hey, listen, we're doing this thing, you know, my family and I, and it's on Satur-"

"Cohen," she pointed at a non-existent watch, "I gotta go, the mall closes in like 3 hours."

"Okay, see ya Summer." She walked away, and he knew, he knew that one day she would ditch the mall for him. She'd ditch anything for him. 

__

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head  
Where I would impress you  
With every single word I said  
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming  
And you'd want to call me…  


And I would be there every time  
You'd need me  
I'd be there every time...  
  
But for now I'll look

So longingly  
Waiting...  
For you to want me

For you need me

For you to notice me  
  
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head  
Where I would impress you  
With every single word I said.  
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming  
And you'd want to call me..  


I would be there every time  
You'd need me  
I'd be there every time...  
  
But for now I'll look

So longingly  
Waiting...  
For you to want me

For you need me

For you to notice me

For You to Notice by Dashboard Confessional


	5. Following a Star

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Rating for this chapter: PG 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Note: Sorry this chapter is a short one, but I promise, the story will be picking up soon…thanks for all the great reviews--keep reading and reviewing! Also, we're still in a flashback sequence…

****

One

Chapter 5: Following a Star

Late January 2004

Summer was decidedly nervous. Today was the day the court nominations came out for Winter Formal Court. She thought she had a chance of being apart of one of the ultimate popularity boosters of Harbor High School. She hadn't been nominated for Homecoming court, which was the ultimate position, but given her distractions at that point, she had known that there was no way she was going to get it. But Winter Formal was different. Still for very popular people, it was a _formal _dance. Homecoming was still childishly semi-formal. 

"Okay, now we've got the nominations for Winter Formal Court," Nikki Culver, the morning announcement girl gushed.

"Yes, for the Freshmen Class, Brian Presley and Rachel Sullivan," Danny Parsons, the head of the audio visual department, monotonously said. He really could give less of a rat's ass.

"The Sophomore class will be represented by Mikey Dennings and Liz Nguyen."

"Juniors have selected Anish Parikh and Anna Hawkins." Summer was sweating. She didn't care about the underclassmen, she wanted to know if she was on court.

"And, for the class of 2004," Nikki practically screamed, "our first prince and princess are Trevor Sadler and Jess Wood."

"The second couple is Dane Sandoval and Jennifer Herrera."

"The third pair is Matt Richey and Trish Lee."

"Prince and Princess number four are Chase McClure and Summer Roberts."

__

Yes! She made it. 

"The last couple is Jake Kaplan and Marnie Glass. Remember we'll be holding elections for King and Queen next week on Monday at Tutorial and Lunch and we'll be having the winter formal pep rally on Friday. If you haven't already bought your tickets, the prices go up on Tuesday of next week, so remember to buy then soon. Directions to the Aquarium can be picked up with Ms. Gordon in the student center." 

This was too exciting, but it was only about one week away from the dance. Good thing she already had a dress in mind and the perfect makeup and shoes to go along with it. Winter Formal was going to be perfect. All she needed was the perfect date to go with her. Too bad most of the guys she knew had been dumped by her at one time or another, so that wasn't a good idea. And the others that were left were just, "Ew." Whatevs. She didn't have time to ponder small details; she had a dress to buy. She mentally mapped the distance to South Coast and back in the shortest amount of time. She had a meeting with her college counselor at 4, so that only gave her about 3 hours to shop, as today was her short day schedule. Summer was so ecstatic, she could hardly contain herself. Seth looked at her, beaming stupidly to herself. It was a glimpse of Summer from the past. The old, "all I care about is popularity" Summer. The Summer that never gave him the time of day. The deep pit in his stomach told him that those days of Summer were about to begin anew once more. 

__

As you walk up those steps and garner your award

Try, not to forget about me

Cuz I was there when you had no one else to hold

You used to look just like a saint

And stumble into walls

You're a guy's very own quarantine

You used to never think you'd ever grow old

How the hell you made it this far

Must be a testament of who you are

Who you'll be

Following a star

Following a Star by Duke Daniels


	6. Falls Apart

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Rating for this chapter: PG-13 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Note: Thanks for all the reviews…keep them coming, your reviews motivate me to write! Also, I'll probably updating once or twice more this weekend, since my classes were cancelled due to the snowstorm that we're having here. And since this is my first winter in a "snow" area coming from OC, I really have no desire to walk outside. So I'll be here, in my dorm, writing a few more chapters for your reading pleasure. For those of you wondering about the song in the last chapter, it's from the movie American Pie, when the kids are getting ready for the prom and Tara Reid's character is dancing in front of her mirror. If anyone has any questions about songs or you want to hear some of the more obscure ones, just drop me an email or feel free to IM me. I'll see what I can do--I think it's just cooler to listen to the songs as you're reading the chapters. Sorry for the long note, I felt like rambling…on to the story:

****

One

Chapter 6: Falls Apart

Summer hugged the Laundry shirt and knee length D&G pencil skirt to her body. Today was the Winter Formal pep rally. She was so happy, as her father had promised to be there to walk her out. The Harbor high school tradition was that the prince's mother and the princess's father were to walk out their children, then hand them off to each other. She adored the way the cream colored shirt made her features look softer and wrapped her body tightly and the way the brown suede skirt accentuated her curves and made her feel like a woman. Her smoky eye makeup gave her a mysterious glow about her face. She looked gorgeous.

Summer sat on the bed, facing her mirror, strapping on her strappy Stuart Weitzman stilettos on. She smiled to herself. She checked the alarm clock, 8:15 AM. Okay, so she skipped her zero period. She needed as much time as possible to prepare. But it was getting late. _Where was he? _She reached over for her Bulgari perfume and spritzed it into the air, letting it mist over her body. He would be there. He promised. 

***

Seth sat in the Rover, contemplating whether he should start the car and start driving to Summer's, or be a coward and just sit in the driveway. He was opting more toward sit like a coward in the driveway. He looked at the roses seated next to him in the car. He bought them as a "Congratulations, you're on Winter Court"-type thing and if she had accepted them, he was going to ask her to go to the dance with him. He couldn't believe she didn't have a date. Leaving Summer Roberts to go to a dance alone was like a crime. She was going to go stag with Marissa. But if he could convince Summer to go with him, they could ditch Marissa with Ryan. He started up the car. He was going to sac up and go for it. The worst she could go was rip out his intestines and stomp on them. Scarily enough, that prospect kind of turned him on a little bit. 

***

"Uh-huh. No, no, it's ok Daddy," silent tears streamed down Summer's face.

"Princess, I'm really sorry. It's just, Missy and I are stuck her for another few days. You understand don't you hun? Business before pleasure, right?"

"Right Daddy. It's perfectly fine. You go and take care of whatever."

"Thank you for understanding sweetheart. I'm so proud of you. My little girl has become this amazingly bright and mature woman. I love you, and to make it up to you, go to the mall this afternoon and treat yourself to something for the dance."

"I've already gotten everything for the dance." Dan Roberts could tell Summer was upset. She never refused an offer to go to the mall. 

"That's okay, get yourself something nice anyway. You deserve it."

"Thanks Daddy," she could hardly suppress the sniffles.

"I know you're upset that we can't be there for the dance, but I want you to take a lot of pictures for me. And I'll see you in a couple of days. We can go to that Dolce restaurant, you know the one you like so much because of that Catcher kid."

"Kutcher. Ashton Kutcher."

"Yeah, that's the one. I'll take you to brunch at the Ritz."

Summer sniffed, "We always go to the Ritz for brunch."

"Not to the one in London." Summer sighed in resignation. He found her weak spot.

"Okay, Daddy. I'll see you on Monday."

"Thank you, honey. You know this is business that I have to take care of. And that I want nothing more than to be there with you today."

"Yeah, I understand." Summer buried her head in her pillows. Her father always missed everything. She had heard the former speech dozens of times during her teenage years. Whenever something important was up, be it a dance recital, father-daughter picnic, or tennis match, he never failed to disappoint. She forgave him every time. He bought her love and she knew it. Her body heaved with sobs as the doorbell rang. 

__

She falls apart   
By herself   
No one there to talk or understand   
Feels the same   
Dries her eyes   
Finds herself, opens a door and sighs   
  
People see right through you   
Everyone knew you well   
Falls apart   
Might as well   
Day is long and nothin' is wasted   
  
Run away, Run away   
Hold you tomorrow but your goin' away   
Run away, run away   
Hold you tomorrow but you're leavin' today   
  
You walk alone   
By yourself   
There's the sound, nothin' is changin'   
They've gone away   
Left you there   
Emptiness in nothin' you can't share   
  
All those words that hurt you   
More than you would let it show   
Comes apart   
By yourself   
Always well but nothing is wasted   
  
Run away, run away   
Hold on to you but you're goin' away   
Run away, run away   
Hold you tomorrow but your leavin' today 

Falls Apart by Sugar Ray (Shoutout to McG, who has directed several of their videos)

Next chapter coming soon…


	7. All Theory, no Action

__

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Note: Sorry, I took a little bit more time to put this up than I had originally promised. I was writing another story, which I have posted. It's called **Meet you there **and it's a Valentine's Day story, so check it out.and don't forget to leave me some feedback I really appreciate your comments. 

One

Chapter 7: All theory, no action

Seth stood, waiting for someone to open the door. She was home; her SC430 was still parked in the driveway. Or maybe she got a ride with someone else. He held the bouquet behind his back, but soon gave up after 5 minutes. No one was home. His hand dropped, half dragging the roses on the ground. Summer peeked out of the door.

"Hello? Is anybody there?" she was barely audible, but Seth's ears had been trained to pick up her voice. 

He turned to look at her blotchy makeup stained face. He knew what had happened. Old Dependable Dad disappointed again. Seth felt sorry for her. She didn't deserve this from anyone, especially not her father. "Hey Summer."

"Hi." She covered most of her body with the door, looking like a frightened little girl in the process. Seth sucked his breath in. Vulnerability was so sexy. Especially when shown by Summer Roberts.

"I just came over to give you these and congratulate you on getting on court. I hope you get queen, I got everyone I know to vote for you."

She smiled, "All two people? That is so sweet Cohen." Seemed to him that Summer was doing just fine. He clutched his chest in mock hurt. "No, kidding aside, thank you so much for the roses. They're beautiful. Come on in."

Cohen could be so cute sometimes. He shuffled into the house as she looked for a vase to put the flowers in. He was wearing black pants and a black button down that hung open to reveal one of his signature tees. He looked so sexily cute.

"Do you need a ride to school Summer?"

"Umm, I guess I could take one, then I wouldn't have to drive in these shoes," she pointed at the heels. "But, I have to fix my makeup first. This isn't the Halloween dance, you know."

"I think you look beautiful."

"I think you're a liar."

"Maybe, but not at this moment. I really mean it." She let herself smile. 

"Umm, thanks Cohen. I'll just be a sec, k?"

"Sure, I'll wait in the car."

***

No conversation. Just the sound of Chris Carraba's voice over the speakers, as Seth drove them to school. He stole glances at Summer, who was listening intently to the lyrics. She looked extremely beautiful in her outfit. Dignified and hip and sexy. Definitely sexy.

"Hey, who is this?"

"Dashboard Confessional."

"They're good."

"Yeah." He wasn't really that much into Dashboard, but he heard chicks dug it. And it was working because Summer was really getting into it. _Thank you Seventeen magazine._

__

Hey girl, you've got a smart way about you   
That makes me wish   
That I was smart enough for you  
  
Hey girl, you've got a fine laugh,   
And I think that I could get used to that   
And you're already used to laughing at me  
  
Well, so what if your friends think I'm crazy   
Well, I wasn't trying to impress those girls anyway   
They're all theory, no action,   
And where I'm from we live   
Like it's the latest attraction  
  
Hey girl, you've got a short fuse   
And I've got designs on lighting you up,   
And setting you off,   
And watching you burn for me   
  
The world lives for the weekend   
Well, I'll watch as my weeks   
Bleed right into them  
Without a line to divide what is theirs   
And what is mine  
  
_Well, so what if your friends think I'm crazy  
I wasn't trying to impress those girls anyway  
They're all theory, no action,   
And where I'm from we live   
Like it's the latest attraction  
  
Go on, go on, your cruel intentions   
Won't solve your problems,   
Everyone's gotta get bottom   
Bottomed out in the long run   
And those are the times you need love_

They reached the parking lot. Summer was quick to exit the car; she was already late to check in. Seth sighed. 

"Hey Summer?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to ask you something."

She was already 30 feet from the car, "Can it wait until lunch? I'm late. I'll meet you back here then."

"Alright. See you in the pep rally. Good luck."

"Bye."

"See ya."

__

Hey Girl by Dashboard Confessional

-----------------

Leave some comments if you want me to continue this story.drop an email, a review or a comment in my live journal--link is in the profile. Thanks!


	8. You Could be My Heroine

__

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Note: Sorry for another short chapter, but I promise the next one will be longer. I also promise that the story will move on more quickly also. Thanks for the reviews…don't forget to read my other story that I'm going to post: **End of Forever**. Thanks!

One

Chapter 8: you could be my heroine

Summer was embarrassed to be without an older escort. All the girls were with their dads who were able to leave their successful law, medical, real estate businesses. Not her dad. It was ok, she wasn't about to let her father ruin any more of her day. 

"Alright, everyone, line up by class. Ok, you guys, line up in the order you were announced on the news," Marissa frantically ran around, trying to get everything into order.

"Coop!" 

"Hey Summer! Oh, you look so beautiful. You excited?"

"Umm, yeah. My dad couldn't make it, but I figured I could just walk out by myself." 

Marissa saddened; Summer's dad was absent once again. "Okay, that'll be fine, if you're comfortable with it."

"Yeah. It shouldn't be too bad," she lied. Summer was scared to death. Having all those eyes on you, critiquing every move you made. Everyone would be wondering where her other escort was. Oh well, what could you do?

"Ok, everyone they're going to start calling you out."

Everyone entered the gym, but stood on the far side. It was beautiful. The dance was at the Long Beach Aquarium (normally an Ew worthy part of So Cal, but the aquarium was beautiful), so Marissa had transformed the gym into an underwater paradise. But not the cheesy kind. Special lighting made everything look like water reflections on the walls, bubble machines filled the air with soft bubbles everywhere. And there were two huge rented aquariums filled with tropical fish. Each princess walked out with her father to the center where she would meet up with her prince, who would be with his mother. The girl was handed a rose, with a strange, but beautiful arrangement of seaweed surrounding it. Finally it was Summer's turn. She stepped out onto the sea foam green carpet (instead of red) and unsteadily took her first step.

Someone in the stands laughed. Marissa shot them a look. Another person snickered; this time a look shot from Ryan. Summer could feel the shame rising to her face, as the student council member read her short bio: 

Summer Roberts is proud to have been selected to your 2004 Winter Formal Court. She has had four wonderful and fun years at Harbor High and would like to thank all of those people who have made that possible: Coop, you're my best friend and I love you--thank you so much for everything. Bridgette, Hayley, Ashley--thank you for making life so much more fun and exciting. Jess, it is an honor to be on the same court as you, which goes out to all the other princesses as well. Jeff, Dan, Nick, and Josh--thanks for always making me feel appreciated. To the rest of the class of 2004, a.k.a. the best class ever, have fun and good luck to you all. 

The music played as she continued walking down the interminable carpet. People were outwardly laughing at her now. Chase scowled at her, as the laughter was drowning out his bio. Summer continued to hold her head up high; she would not lose. But she didn't know if she could be this strong. 

Seth was fed up. He wanted to hit all those kids who were laughing at her. Instead, he grabbed a rose from a girl who was sitting in front of him and calmly walked down the bleachers towards the gym floor. 

Ryan shot Marissa a look. What the hell was Seth doing?

Seth stepped over to Summer and handed her the rose. She looked at his face, questioning him. More people started laughing and jeering. "Hey, SHUT UP you guys!" Seth recognized the voice as Luke's and silently thanked him. He offered her his arm, which she took, and walked the rest of the way with her. He handed her off to Chase, and took Mrs. McClure's arm, proceeding to sit with the other parents. As the next couple walked out, Summer glanced back at Seth, who had not taken his eyes off her once. Her eyes watered as she smiled and looked away.

__

Maybe when the room is empty   
Maybe when the bottle's full   
Maybe when the door gets broke down   
Love can break in   
  
Maybe when I'm done with thinking   
Maybe you can think me whole   
Maybe when I'm done with endings   
This can begin   
  
If you could be my punk rock princess   
I could be your garage band king   
You could tell me why you just don't fit in   
And how you're gonna be something   
  
Maybe when your hair gets darker   
Maybe when your eyes get wide   
Maybe when the walls are smaller   
There will be more space   
  
Maybe when I'm not so tired   
Maybe you could step inside   
Maybe when I look for things   
That I can't replace 

I can't replace

I can't replace  
  
If you could be my punk rock princess   
I would be your garage band king   
You could tell me why you just don't fit in   
And how you're gonna be something   
  
If I could be your first real heartache   
I would do it over again   
If you could be my punk rock princess   
I would be your heroine   
  
I never thought you'd last   
I never dreamed you would   
You watch your life go past   
You wonder if you should   
  
If you could be my punk rock princess   
I could be your garage band king   
You could tell me why you just don't fit in   
And how you're gonna be something   
  
If I could be your first real heartache   
I would do it over again   
If you could be my punk rock princess   
I would be your heroine   


You know, you only burn my bridges

You know, you just can't let it sink in

You could be my heroine, you could be my heroine

Punk Rock Princess by Something Corporate


	9. Intoxicated

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Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Note: This may be the last update I make in awhile because my computer has been really malfunctioning as of late, and I have to get it fixed. Hopefully it won't take too long, but if it does the next time I post another chapter could be weeks away. Thanks for all the reviews--enjoy…

Chapter 9: Intoxicated

Summer was busy applying makeup in front of her vanity. She had almost gotten over the whole pep rally deal, but not completely. She was still embarrassed as hell. She knew her chances for queen were slim to none, but that was okay. She didn't want to be the Winter Formal Queen of people who were such assholes. Except for Seth. He was perfect, coming to her rescue like that. It was incredibly sweet of him. So sweet in fact, that when he met up with her after school and asked her to the dance, she had said yes. She couldn't believe it either. After the whole Anna thing, she didn't think she was ever really going to give him a second chance. But she did. That was completely out of character. 

So here she was, getting ready to go on a date with Seth Cohen. To a dance even. How times change. 

Marissa came out of the bathroom and did a twirl in front of Summer. "How do I look?"

"Oh my god, so good. That's such a great dress!" And it was. It was a sexy, form fitting, but not too tight, light blue-green flowy creation. Marissa looked so soft and innocent, like an angelic mermaid, something Summer always wanted to be. But she knew she could never pull off that look. 

"Sum, you're not even dressed yet, the guys will be here in like 2 minutes."

"I know, I'm going." Summer had gone with the complete opposite in style. She was going to look like the hottest thing to hit Orange County since the heat wave of 2000. Cohen was going to die. 

***

"Seth man, stop shaking, that's not normal."

"I can't help it. This is like a real date. A dance, with Summer. This is beyond my wildest 

dreams." He threw his arms in the air and shook them.

"Kissing her was beyond your wildest dreams, so you've got nothing to worry about. Been there, done that." Seth rolled his eyes. If only it were that simple. Summer was giving him a second chance. He didn't want to mess it up again.

He started tapping his fingers on the door. Ryan gave him a look. He stopped. After all, he wanted to keep all of his body parts intact for tonight's date. "We're here."

"I see that. Let me collect my bearings, then we can enter." Ryan slammed the door behind him as Seth did a little pep talk. "You can do this Seth. You're good. No, not good, grrreat!" He pumped his fist in the air, almost knocking it into the rearview mirror. He looked around quickly, but it was too late, Ryan was choking back laughter. 

"Come on Tony the Tiger, let's go."

***

"Seth?" Marissa tried to shake his shoulders as he sat, slumped in the car. He had nearly passed out when he saw his date. Summer sat next to him, petting his hand, as his breaths became deeper and more normal. She smiled; it was just the reaction she had hoped for.

"I'm. O…K." She squeezed his hand and the breathing became more shallow and rapid.

"Summer, stop doing that! Do you want him to have a heart attack?" Marissa whined.

"Sorrry."

Seth had been waiting outside the door when Marissa answered it looking quite lovely, for Marissa. Ryan gave her a great big smile and the two moved out of the way so that the Princess could make her grand entrance. And what an entrance it was. Summer slowly walked down each step of her grand staircase, memorizing each change of emotion in her date's face. First it was she looks so beautiful, then it was she is so hot, followed by I want to do her. The last emotion was oh my god, I'm going to faint. Who could blame him? Summer wore the sexiest dress any of them had ever seen. It was a wildly colorful Roberto Cavalli creation, with tiger like stripes of black, white, yellow and blue all over the floor length gown. Yes, it was the same one that was on display right in the smack dab center of the store at South Coast Plaza, so that when passer-bys looked in, all they could see was that dress. Seth sighed as he looked at the fabric; the fabric that separated all of Summer from him. It clung to her body like a parasite would to its host. Although the dress already showed a lot of skin, there were two cuts at the sides of her body that exposed even more tan skin. Again, she went with a smoky makeup look, but this time it made her look mysterious and wild at the same time. Her hair was down, with waves that could not be tamed. Again, with the sexed up look. Seth couldn't take it. His knees began to buckle. Ryan caught him just in time, but he had been in a wordless state for over 10 minutes. 

By the time they had reached the aquarium, Seth was coming along nicely. He even managed to stammer out, "You look so hot tonight." Of course it took him about 5 minutes to utter the whole sentence, but it was a start. Summer wasn't the only one who looked hot. Seth was quite the stunner as well. He just looked so damn good in formal wear. Black suit, white shirt, black Purple Label tie. His mother had been so happy that he was actually interested in wearing a designer brand that she had bought him several of the PL ties, in many, many colors. 

Summer looked down at the corsage that graced her wrist, it was a beautiful arrangement of orchids, several different kinds. Three green cymbidiums were flanked with the spider-looking orchids, and smaller dendrobiums. The corsage was unconventional, just as the two of them were. Summer would never admit it, but she liked that. 

The party was already in full swing by the time they all got there, so Summer grabbed Seth's hand and led him inside. Lil Jon and the Ying Yang twins reverberated off the aquarium walls as they called everyone to "Get Low." 

"Cohen, get ready for the best night of your life."

Seth gulped in some fresh air, and was dragged to the dance floor. 

***

They were having the time of their lives. The dance had been so much fun because both Seth and Summer were being themselves. No inhibitions, no pretentiousness. Seth was his own dorky uncoordinated self on the dance floor, but Summer loved it. She now stood, talking to some girls while he went to get them drinks. 

"Here's your water."

"Thanks. Ew, look at Coop and Chino." Seth followed her stare to where Ryan and Marissa were slowly grinding way too close together. 

"Are you trying to send me a hint or something?" She smiled. He loved it when he made her smile. She loved it too. Familiar chords rang out as Seth got this huge, goofy grin on his face. He grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor as he serenaded her.

"My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know for sure…" He sang every word from Hey Ya! With perfect precision and timing. Which, unfortunately, could not also be said about his dancing. He flailed his arms around as he did a combination of the robot and the cabbage patch. She laughed and danced with him, wrapping her arms around him, giving him no opportunity to pull out anymore dated dance moves. "Don't want to meet your Daddy, just want you in my Caddy. Don't want to meet your Mama, just want to make you cumma. I'm just being honest. I'm just being honest."

He winked at her and she actually felt herself blush. She'd never blushed because of anything to do with sexuality before. _What was going on? _He looked into her eyes and then hugged her. It was the sweetest gesture a guy had ever made in her presence. She pulled him closer and kissed him. They were in the middle of the dance floor, amongst all the other couples and it never felt so right to Summer before.

"Shake it, shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture," Seth sang, breaking the kiss and looking into Summer's eyes once more. He grabbed her hips and shook her body along with his without breaking eye contact. The next song started up, and Summer squealed. She loved the song. She pulled him toward a wall and pushed him back against it, grinding with him. She sang the song, as she seductively crawled up his body, letting her hands roam wherever they pleased. 

  
_Baby, can't you see   
I'm calling   
A guy like you   
Should wear a warning   
It's dangerous   
I'm fallin'   
  
There's no escape   
I can't wait  
I need a hit   
Baby, give me it   
You're dangerous   
I'm lovin' it   
  
Too high   
Can't come down   
Losing my head   
Spinning 'round and 'round   
Do you feel me now   
  
With a taste of your lips   
I'm on a ride   
You're toxic   
I'm slipping under   
With a taste of poison paradise   
I'm addicted to you   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
And I love what you do   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
  
It's getting late   
To give it up   
I took a sip   
From my devil cup   
Slowly   
It's taking over me   
  
Too high   
Can't come down   
It's in the air   
And it's all around   
Can you feel me now   
  
With a taste of your lips   
I'm on a ride   
You're toxic   
I'm slipping under   
With a taste of poison paradise   
I'm addicted to you   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
And I love what you do   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
  
Don't you know that you're toxic   
  
Taste of my lips and having fun   
  
With a taste of your lips   
I'm on a ride   
You're toxic   
I'm slipping under   
With a taste of poison paradise   
I'm addicted to you   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
And I love what you do   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
  
With a taste of your lips   
I'm on a ride   
You're toxic   
I'm slipping under   
With a taste of poison paradise   
I'm addicted to you   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
And I love what you do   
Don't you know that you're toxic   
  
I'm intoxicated now   
I think you'll love it now   
I think I'm ready now   
I think I'm ready now   
I'm intoxicated now   
I think you'll love it now   
I think I'm ready now _

Her voice came out growling more as the song went on, and it was so hot. She pushed him up against the wall and kissed him. Hard. Like she needed it as much as he needed her. He had kissed her before, and he had to admit, it never got old. This was real. Energy coursed through his body. He was invincible. For the first time in his life, he felt truly alive. He never wanted it to end. But all good things must end. 

He looked around, to make sure this was real, he wanted to see the look on everyone's faces. But no one was looking. Everyone was too absorbed in making out/grinding with their date. Oh well. 

"Hey, I have to go to the stage. They're going to announce queen soon."

"Okay, good luck." Yep, as suddenly as it had started, it had ended. With no evidence of anything ever happening. He wasn't sure that he was not going to wake up from a dream at any moment. 

"Oh, Seth?" He turned back towards her.

"Thank you for being my date." She pulled him back to her and kissed him, more softly. Yes. This was confirmation. This night was real. And it could only get better. 

__

Hey Ya! by Outkast

Toxic by Britney Spears


	10. Crash

__

Rating: R for mature situations

Disclaimer: I do not own the OC, but I will ask Josh Schwartz if we can work out a deal when I meet him. J/k--I'll be too busy drooling over Adam.

Note: My computer decided to behave, so I didn't need to get it fixed. So here is another chapter. Also, I may be posting a new story up either this weekend, or next week--keep an eye out for it. It's called **Lady in Red**. _Thanks and keep the reviews coming! Oh, and we're going to pretend that Seth's boat is actually bigger than it is on the show for this chapter._

****

One

Chapter 10: Crash

So Summer didn't win queen. Big deal. The night was still more fun than she had had in a long time. Seth was driving her home after they'd already ditched Ryan and Marissa to do whatever it was that they were going to do. Now she had Seth all to herself. Now they were alone. She scooted over and started kissing his neck, moving up to his ear.

"Summer, do you want me to crash this car or something?" No answer, just more fervent kissing. "I'll take that as a yes. And while I appreciate the efforts, I'd really like to focus on the road. And an unfocused driver equals bad."

"You know what else is bad?" she purred.

"Umm, I don't think I really…it's not a good time."

"This is bad…" she took one hand off the steering wheel and ran it along the side of her body, letting it linger on her bare skin at the sides of her waist. 

"Oh god. I think that's actually good." He removed his hand and proceeded to drive more quickly to her house.

"Cohen, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get to your house as fast as I can, so that we can continue _this_, there."

"I don't want to go back to my house."

"What?" His face openly showed disappointment. He pulled over to the side of the road.

"I mean, I want to go somewhere else, somewhere special. My house is not that place. Take me somewhere special to you." He looked at her blankly, but then brightened. He knew where they could go. 

***

He had never shown it to her, but he felt that it was the right time for his lady and her namesake, his other lady should meet. 

"Summer, this is my boat."

"The one you named after me?" He looked at the ground, embarrassed that she still remembered. It was cute, freakily stalkerish, but cute nonetheless. He grabbed her hand and led her aboard the deck.

"It's such a beautiful night tonight. You can see all the stars and everything." He put his arms around her and looked at every inch of her, memorizing the exact moments she took breaths. He wanted to remember everything. She gazed upwards at the stars and leaned on him, shivering a little bit. "Are you cold?"

"Kind of, but it's fine."

"No, no, I'll get some blankets from the cabin." He appeared minutes later, with a bunch of blankets in hand. He had also turned on a mixed cd, made for occasions when he was with a lady. Seth had never used it, but he was glad it was getting christened with Summer. Soft tinkling could be heard flowing from the stereo. He slowly spread a few out on the deck and motioned for her to come and sit on them. He wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, lightly brushing his fingers across her collarbone. Summer's eyes were closed. All she wanted to do was feel. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, again and again. He let his fingers dance through her hair. She began to unbutton his shirt, but he stopped her. 

"Summer, we don't have to do this."

"Why, you don't want to?" She looked sincerely hurt; that was something Seth had never seen before.

"No, I want to, but I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I mean, I've liked you for a really long time, but I don't want that to be the deciding--"

She smiled and placed a finger on his lips. She finished unbuttoning the rest of the shirt and tossed it aside gently, as to not throw it into the water. It was now his turn to shiver, so she pulled him on top of her, lying down on top of the blankets. He wasn't really sure how to go about things, as he was not as experienced as she was. He just wanted her to be comfortable. Summer rolled him over, so that she straddled him. She loved his innocence. She loved the way he glanced up at her expectantly and the way he gave her questioning looks when he didn't know what to do. Most other guys didn't even look at her when they were in this situation. 

She led his hands to her back, where he undid the zipper to her very expensive dress. Helping her out of it, he shifted so that he could throw it into the cabin. And there she was. Perfect and delicate, her bronze skin begged to be touched. He didn't mean to stare, but she was so beautiful.

"You are so perfect Summer. I think I'm the luckiest boy in the world. You're so beautiful, do you know that? How did a guy like me end up with you?"

She kissed his bare chest, not even trying to shush him this time. For some reason, his rambling put her at ease. "Seth, you don't have to question anything. I want you." Her voice was soft and smooth. He pulled her to him and started kissing her. They removed the rest of their clothing and he started kissing her everywhere. He took snapshots in his brain. Every time her body arched, every time she sighed with pleasure. The way she half whispered, half growled his name as she was nearing the edge. He made sure no part of her was left untouched. She was so shocked that anything could feel this good. She loved the way he paid utmost attention to her needs. How he looked into her eyes and made her feel like she was important. He made her laugh, in that way that only serious lovers do when they are in a state of ecstasy. 

__

You've got your ball   
You've got your chain   
Tied to me tight, tie me up again   
Who's got their claws   
In you my friend   
Into your heart I'll beat again   
Sweet like candy to my soul   
Sweet you rock   
And sweet you roll   
Lost for you I'm so lost for you   
You come crash into me   
And I come into you,   
I come into you   
In a boys dream   
In a boys dream   
  
Touch your lips just so I know   
In your eyes, love, it glows so   
I'm bare-boned and crazy for you   
When you come crash   
Into me, baby   
And I come into you   
In a boys dream   
In a boys dream   
If I've gone overboard   
Then I'm begging you   
To forgive me   
In my haste   
When I'm holding you so girl...   
Close to me   
  
Oh and you come crash   
Into me, baby   
And I come into you   
Hike up your skirt a little more   
And show the world to me   
Hike up your skirt a little more   
And show your world to me   
In a boys dream... In a boys dream   
  
Oh I watch you there   
Through the window   
And I stare at you   
You wear nothing but you   
Wear it so well   
Tied up and twisted,   
The way I'd like to be   
For you, for me, come crash   
Into me 

Seth was dizzy with emotion. He held her tightly against his chest, wrapping a blanket around them both. She was sleeping peacefully on top of him. Where she belonged. He whispered, barely audible, "I love you, Summer." 

But she did hear. And a tear slid down her cheek. These were not tears of happiness. These were tears of complete and utter sadness because she knew she could not be woman he needed her to be. She just was not a good person like he thought she was. The tears kept falling into her hair. She had never cried for a boy, especially not a boy like Seth Cohen. And unfortunately, this was not the last time he would make her cry. 

__

Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band


	11. Lost and Lonely

__

Rating: PG-13 to R for mature situation

Disclaimer: I do not own the OC or anything else for that matter.

Note: Thanks for the reviews: I tried my best to make this chapter longer since that's what most of you commented on (sorry, I'm usually pretty succinct in writing). To answer another question, I am not an English major/writing major--I'm actually going to become a physician, but thanks for thinking that. I'm on Spring Break at home in Orange County now, so I will not be updating for a week or so…thanks for reading and keep those reviews coming!

One

Chapter 11: Lost and lonely…

Summer was scared. What had she done? She had had the most wonderfully romantic night of her life, and now she was doing what she learned to do best; she was running away. No one had never told her that he loved her, and meant it. But she knew this time was different, she knew Seth meant it. And that terrified her. Summer was not the type of girl that was loved. She was the type of girl you lusted after and fooled around with, but she would not allow anyone to love her. No one. She couldn't think. Thoughts were rushing every which way in her head. She couldn't stand it! She hated thinking about feelings and shit. She was the most superficial person she knew, and that was saying something. Her cell phone rang and she hesitated before picking up.

"Hello?"

"Hey beautiful. How are you? You kind of ran off quickly when I dropped you off."

"Umm, yeah sorry. My dad, he's got these strict rules about being out late."

Her voice sounded distant and icy. She was not the Summer he had shared the most intimate feeling with. She was once again Summer the social queen. Summer with the façade hiding the frightened little girl. His head started to hurt. This was not going to happen to him.

"Do you want to do something today?"

"I have to finish my calculus homework."

"How about tonight?"

"I can't. I've got other plans." Her voice was curt and it sliced through him, hurting him like a rusty, dull knife would. 

"Oh, okay then. I guess I'll see you around then."

"Bye." She hung up the phone. Her eyes were already cloudy and she knew she had made a gigantic mistake. She was pushing the only person who had ever cared about her miles away. But that was what she had been programmed to do all her life. _Never let anyone in too close, Summer. They'll only hurt you when they leave you. And they will leave you because no one could ever care about you for a long time. Your father didn't care. Your mother didn't care. No one will. _

It had to be done. She had learned never to get attached to anyone, from all of the different wives and girlfriends her father had over the years. She would not do it. She was not going to get attached to the best person who had ever graced her life.

***

Seth had opened the oversized black envelope with the beautiful cardinal and gold writing on the bottom corner last night. USC. He was accepted. One part of him felt insanely happy. He was going to go his dream school and become a writer/director/producer. The other part of him was angry and sad that Summer was brushing him off again. He would never understand her. He stood at his locker, haphazardly shoving books into the space. She walked towards him, talking with some other girl from the posse.

"Summer, I need to talk to you."

"Make it quick, Cohen," both girls looked seriously annoyed. 

"Can we talk about what happened?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Summer laughed nervously as the other girl's eyes bore holes into her back.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." He grabbed her, and kissed her hard. It was a bold move. Something very un-Seth like, but it was completely necessary. 

She pushed him off her, "Ew, Cohen get off me!" She recognized the look of hurt and rejection in his eyes, but felt it justified when she saw Hayley's lips curl into a cruel smile. Seth noticed this also. This was the moment that his heart froze over. 

"What the hell is your problem? You think you can just run over anyone you want with your stupid little games? I don't think so Summer. You can't deny that what we have isn't real because it is. I know you feel the sparks too. You feel it," he started to whine. He hated that feature of his voice. She looked at him blankly, her face devoid of emotion.

"You are sooo delusional. Whatevs, I have things to do, get out of my way."

He didn't stop her. He had run out of things to say. Seth, the ever rambling kid, was rendered speechless. For once in his life, he did not overly concern himself with her problems. His life was changing for the better and if she didn't want to be apart of that equation, then he was going to have to accept that. He was finally letting go and he had no idea why. For the last eight years, he had pined for her and now that he had her, he was letting go? It didn't make sense. This was a turning point for Seth Cohen. But not in a good way. This is the first step in creating the desensitized man that lived today. The Seth Cohen that did not care; the Seth Cohen that had no feeling. The Seth Cohen that was scared of rejection, of being hurt. 

Summer walked off with her friend. She glanced back at the boy she had left for dead. She sniffed back a tear and then left him behind. 

__

"Show me how you do that trick   
The one that makes me scream" she said   
"The one that makes me laugh" she said   
And threw her arms around my neck   
"Show me how you do it   
And I promise you I promise that   
I'll run away with you   
I'll run away with you"   


Spinning on that dizzy edge   
I kissed her face and kissed her head   
And dreamed of all the different ways I had   
To make her glow   
"Why are you so far away?" she said   
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you   
That I'm in love with you"   
  
You   
Soft and only   
You   
Lost and lonely   
You   
Strange as angels   
Dancing in the deepest oceans   
Twisting in the water   
You're just like a dream 

Just like a dream  
  
Daylight licked me into shape   
I must have been asleep for a day   
And moving lips to breathe her name   
I opened up my eyes   
And found myself alone alone   
Alone above a raging sea   
That stole the only girl I loved   
And drowned her deep inside of me   
  
You   
Soft and only   
You   
Lost and lonely   
You   
Just like heaven 

***

She lifted her cup to her lips and took another shot of Bacardi 151. The shit burned. She had re-assimilated herself into the party scene. She had successfully ignored him for about two weeks now. But she didn't notice the growing looks of anger across the cafeteria or parking lot. She didn't notice the bitterness sweep his face whenever she would walk into a room. Or maybe she did. But she just told herself that she didn't care about him. 

He was at the party, drinking far more than he should have. Ryan looked at him in disgust. His friend had not been the same since Winter Formal. He was moody, angry, snappy. The same goofy, friendly Seth was gone. Summer had killed that part of him. Now he was a bitter, drunken mess. Surprisingly though, he still was fairly alert to his surroundings. He saw her. She was still the only thing he saw; she haunted him. But his adoration had quickly turned to disgust and hatred. He took another drink and then another. He would drown his sorrows out yet.

***

She was gone, completely wasted way before anyone else was. She felt his eyes on her. She suddenly felt extremely brave. She walked out to him and pulled him over to her. 

"Everyone, this is Seth Cohen. He has liked me since the third grade!" People laughed. _What the hell are you doing? Stop Summer. Stop now. _"And you know what? I treat him like shit, but he still likes me. Don't you Seth." He drunkenly stood next to her, still painfully aware of every word she was uttering. "That's right. He can't get enough of me. And he'll always be there for me, like a stupid little puppy." Ryan clenched his fists, but was stopped by Marissa. "But, I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately and I've decided that I love him." She looked him in the eyes and he knew that she was not as much drunk as was acting drunk. "That's right Sethy, I LOVE YOU. And I want to be with you," her voiced trailed off into a whisper. And that's when everyone knew she was being serious. 

He looked at her. She jumped a little. In the place of the boy she cared so much for was something that she had never seen before. His steely stare penetrated her heart and twisted and squeezed it until she could feel no more. _What have I done? _Her eyes watered, as she knew that he did not care for her anymore. 

"You say that you love me. That's a lie. You can't love anyone," his voice was filled with pain, but it was harshly unwavering, "I won't wait for you. I'm not going to be your sick little puppy dog that's going to follow you around for the rest of your life. I'm not going to be your rock. I'm sick of your games and I'm sick of you."

He walked out of the party, leaving shocked guests in the wake of the most dramatic thing they had ever seen. Summer stared at his back, wanting something to say, but she had no strength left to say anything. _It's all your fault. You let him in and now you're hurt again. You are a bitch. _She ignored the voice and broke down into Marissa's arms, letting her friend lead her out of the house and out of Newport society. 

__

Just Like Heaven by the Cure


	12. turn around and see me cry

__

Rating: PG-13 

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Note: Well, everyone I'm back from spring break. Let's just say that meeting Adam Brody was so much better than I could have imagined. He's so terribly good looking. But I guess you all already knew that. Read the LJ if you want to know how the Paley festival went. Well, hopefully if my computer does not break, I will have another chapter up fairly quickly, but for now, enjoy…

****

One

Chapter 12: turn around and see me cry

February 2013

She was packing, getting ready to make the trip home for the engagement party. The TV was on full blast as she threw assorted designer dresses into the suitcases. She should have never turned on the TV. _One Marino Way._ That was _his_ show. His name flashed across the screen under the heading Creator and Executive Producer. And she had known this from the countless articles she had read about the show and its success. What she didn't know was how much it hurt to see his name. It stung…

Within minutes, she picked up the plot and characters--it was a teen drama, not rocket science. There was a nerd type guy, Sam, who was in love with the school's reigning bitch, Jamie. Summer could've been the actress's older twin sister. And of course Sam wasn't getting the girl. Couplings like that were never meant to be.

She was hurt and shocked at the same time. With her eyes glued to the TV, she could not stop herself from watching her life re-lived on the screen. The scene played just as it had happened in real time. 

***

August 2004

She rode up the escalator, letting the tears freely fall, not caring who saw her. Fuck them. She would never have to live up to any of their expectations ever again. The taste of the bitter tears surprised her; she hadn't tasted their saltiness in a long time. 8:40 flight to RDU airport. She was leaving this place for good, off to start her new life at Duke. No one would know her. She could start over and be whoever she wanted to be. She could change. She _would _change. 

Summer would never make mistakes in love again. She vowed to never let anyone affect her as much as he did. The worst thing was, she knew it was her fault, but her pride stood in the way of happiness. She had hurt him and he had rejected her. She knew she was running away from her problems, but felt that it was the only option at this point. She could not take Orange County anymore. She needed to forget. And she would. Not today, and not tomorrow, but one day she would forget. 

No more crying. Crying is for the weak and the vulnerable. She would be vulnerable no more. 

He watched her as she rode up the escalator. He wanted to stop her. He wanted to run to her and kiss her and tell her that he forgave her. But he didn't. He would not allow her that honor. He knew this was the right thing for both of them. He was tired of her games, of her excuses, of her behavior towards him. Most of all he was just tired. He wondered if he would ever see her again, because he would probably never be rid of this heavy burden in his heart. It was her fault that he would probably never love anyone ever again. If he did see her, it would be too soon, whenever it were to happen. 

"So long, sweet Summer," he whispered as he watched her figure fade from view. A few tears fell from his eyes as he walked out of her life like she had walked out of his.

__

How can I just let you walk away   
Just let you leave without a trace   
When I stand here taking every breath with you   
You're the only one who really knew me at all   
  
How can you just walk away from me   
When all I can do is watch you leave   
'Cause we shared the laughter and the pain   
And even shared the tears   
You're the only one who really knew me at all   
  
So take a look at me now   
There's just an empty space   
There's nothing left here to remind me   
Just the memory of your face   
  
Take a good look at me now   
There's just an empty space   
  
And you coming back to me   
Is against all the odds   
And that's what I got to take   
  
I wish I could just make you turn around   
Turn around and see me cry   
There's so much I need to say to you   
So many reasons why   
You're the only one   
Who really knew me at all   
  
But to wait for you is all I can do   
And that's what I've got to face   
  
Take a good look at me now   
'Cause I'll still be standing there   


***

February 2013

Jamie heard Sam calling her name through the terminal. At first she ignored him because she didn't want him to see her in the vulnerable state she was in. But soon, her heart caved in. She turned, looking for his hopeful face through the crowd. Spotting him, she ran back towards the ticket counter and hugged him, long and hard. She wanted to remember this moment forever. 

"I forgive you Jamie. I want to be with you." He smiled, and she and about all the women ages 18-49 who watched the show melted. "I forgive you," he whispered. 

She kissed him, letting all of her inhibitions go. _Typical, the boy always got the girl on TV. _

She broke the kiss and her disposition changed. 

"I can't be with you Sam. I don't want to hurt you in the way I know I can. You don't deserve someone like me. This is not the way it's meant to be."

Silent tears threatened to fall from his eyes. He was not going to give her the pleasure of seeing him break down. She wanted that to happen. This was her game. But he would beat her at it. "You said you loved me and that was a lie. Well, let me make something clear to you Jamie. I won't wait for you. I'm not going to be your sick little puppy dog that's going to follow you around for the rest of your life. I'm not going to be your rock."

She stared at him blankly as his words registered in her mind. Her eyes welled up with tears that could not fall. Not here. Not now.

"And you know what Jamie? You're right, I don't deserve a bitch like you. I'm sick of your games and I'm sick of you. Goodbye."

He left her there, broken. More tears fell, and they kept falling. She watched him turn around and look at her with sadness emanating from his face. She saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes, a spark that told her that there was some hope. Some hope for when she saw him again at the end of winter break. "I'll see you," she whispered to no one in particular. The screen faded to black as some sappy song played out. 

Summer could not avert her gaze from the screen. So he had been there with her when she left. He had watched her leave. He had written it into the show. He had written them. Their story. She came to the stark realization that he would not wait for her. He would not be there. And for the first time in many years, Summer Roberts let down her barrier and cried. She cried the tears of regret, the tears of sadness, and the tears of pain. 

She just cried.

__

Against All Odds by Phil Collins


	13. We hurt each other then we do it again

__

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Note: Here is the next chapter, hope you all enjoy even though it is still a bit of a downer. Hopefully things will get better between Seth and Summer soon, we'll see. Thanks for reviewing--I really appreciate all the comments and try to make my writing better from your comments. So thanks!

****

One

Chapter 13: We hurt each other then we do it again…

Summer hated airports, which tied in with the whole fear of flying thing. She hated them because they were impersonal and cold. Big empty buildings with no personality. They were all built with the same floor plan, same Starbucks, same McDonalds. They were hollow. Like her soul. She didn't enjoy the feeling she got when walked through one. Especially this one. She hated John Wayne Airport the most. As a child, she used to love going there and sitting at the base of the huge bronze statue of the Duke and waiting for her father to come home from a business trip. But as she grew older, she began to notice more and more that he hardly cared or acknowledged the fact that she had come, he was preoccupied with a new girlfriend that he had brought home with him. So she stopped coming. And the last time she was here…well, she didn't even want to think about it. 

She walked the length of the terminal, looking outside. From the plane, she had seen Newport and all of Orange County in its glory. It's amazing how much time can change things. Now California was dotted with track homes everywhere. Yes, even in Chino and the rest of Riverside County. She looked around. Mid-afternoon travelers clutched their Louis Vuitton briefcases and $5 coffees. Soccer moms sat tiredly in the waiting areas while their children ran around and their husbands read about the Lakers' game in the Register. She changed her mind. Time didn't change much at all. She realized she was still one of them. She clutched a Louis Vuitton vanity case and rolling bag. She had just tossed out a Mocha Frappuccino. As much as she denied it, she was still the epitome of Orange County stereotypes. And she hated it, or so she thought. You could take the girl out of Orange County, but you could never take the Orange County out of the girl. 

***

Seth drove like a madman down the 405. He was finally coming home. Over the years, his trips back to Newport had become few and far between. Every time he came back, his mother and father lectured him on his lifestyle and he continually faced comparison with their golden child, Ryan. Ryan was the one who followed in Sandy's footsteps and went to Berkeley and then Northwestern Law School. It was now Ryan who was working in the same firm as his father. Seth thought this was unbearable. Ryan was doing exactly everything he was told to do. Their roles had been reversed. Now Seth was the outcast outsider. And now Ryan was getting married. To his high school sweetheart. His longtime girlfriend of what, almost 10 years? Seth didn't know anything about long term girlfriends. He switched about every two weeks when he got bored of them and their issues. He had just broke up with one of them, a real winner. She had been petite and brunette with the best body he'd been with in a long time. She had the biggest ego this side of the 10 freeway, too. Most of his girlfriends were cast out of that same mold. By coincidence only, of course. He didn't really see himself getting tied down anytime soon. No matter now much his mother begged him for grandchildren or whatever. 

His cell phone beeped. It had been doing so for the last few hours. He ignored it; it was his business partner who was asking him about upcoming storylines or something. He didn't feel like taking care of business right now. He had other things he had to take care of. Namely, one thing. He knew she was back. Ryan had told him. What did he care though, she was just another girl to him. No one that actually mattered. He turned up the radio. 

__

Is it getting better?

Do you feel the same?

Will it make it easier on you now?

You've got someone to blame

You say, "One love, one life…

When it's one need, in the night

One love, we get to share it

It leaves you, baby, if you don't care for it…"

Did I disappoint you?

Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?

You act like you never had love 

And you want me to go without

A half an hour later, Summer was on her way out of the airport. She looked like any other Orange County native did, cruising down the freeway in a rented SL 500 towards her old home. She turned up the volume on the stereo and drove, with her oversized Chanel sunglasses overwhelming her face. Already she could feel the sea breeze run across her skin. As the familiar scenes passed her, her heart began to ache. _It had been too long. _She had missed everything about the OC. Everything. She was back to the place she loved the most. The place that had once held so much promise for her. The place she could never let go of. Home. Summer was home. Back to where she belonged. 

__

Well it's too late, tonight

To drag the past out into the light

We're one, but we're not the same

We've got to carry each other, carry each other

One

Have you come here for forgiveness?

Have you come to raise the dead?

Have you come here to play Jesus

To the lepers in your head?

Did I ask too much?

More than a lot

You gave me nothing, now it's all I got

Seth was nearing the exit for his home. "Welcome to Newport Beach" the sign said. Ironic. Newport Beach rarely welcomed anyone into it's cold and unforgiving arms. He had certainly never felt welcome. He looked at the beach. The blue waters that were once his haven now only seemed to hiss at him. _You're not welcome here…_ He pulled into the gated community driveway and punched the code into the machine. The gates slowly opened and he entered the one place he could not stand. He came home. 

__

We're one, but we're not the same

Well, we hurt each other, then we do it again

You say, love is a temple, love the higher law

Love is a temple, love the higher law

You ask me to enter, then you make me crawl

And I can't be holding on, to what you got

When all you've got is hurt

One love, one blood

One life you've got to do what you should

One life, with each other

Sisters, brothers

One life, but we're not the same

We've got to carry each other, carry each other

Summer reached her house. It looked empty. Just like her dad to not be around. And of course, she had thrown out her key a long time ago. So there she was, stuck outside, with no where to go. Well, she had Coop, but her house was right next to theirs. And that was too close for comfort. Instead of sticking around to see if anyone was there, she turned the car around and drove to the beach. Something in the air was different, it slapped her in the face as she got out of the car. This was the Newport she remembered. She walked across the sand and dipped her foot into the ocean. The cold waves bit her foot. She had forgotten how much it hurt to be here. But she would not let it hurt her this time. She would not be vulnerable to anything. 

He watched her from the living room. He couldn't make out her face or any other distinguishing features, but he knew. You don't spend like nine years of your life trying to memorize every mannerism of a person and not know how they look from afar. It was semi-comforting that she still carried herself in the same way. For one second, maybe even less, the heartless, money hungry Seth Cohen of new felt something in his heart twitch. She still made him ache. Someone might have actually thought he was having an emotional feeling. Something he had not had for some time. But as soon as it had come, it had gone away, and he turned around and went back to his business. 

__

One by U2


	14. love taught me to cry

__

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own a thing. 

Note: Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it. I will be updating my other story, Lady in Red this weekend as well. Also, I have a new LiveJournal account that is devoted to the OC, username: RockinTheOC, so if anyone wants to check it out, it's got news, music, recaps, pictures, and my encounter with the cast on it, but I'm taking suggestions on what I should put on the site. Thanks…and enjoy.

****

One

Chapter 14: love taught me to cry

Summer had waited a few days before telling Marissa that she was in town. She had purposely booked a flight that was a week and a half before the engagement party so that she was have time to reacquaint herself with Newport. She would also be staying after for another week and a half to help Marissa with wedding plans. Since her dad wasn't home, Summer was staying at the St. Regis Monarch Bay resort which was far enough from Newport so she could stay hidden. Of course when Marissa found out she was staying in a hotel, she insisted that Summer come stay at the house. Summer didn't want to. 

She had already seen Marissa. The two had lunched at Baja Fresh like old times. Summer had missed moments like this in her life. She had lost touch during college, as she was busting her ass out to make the grades at Duke. But she did, and now she was working in a terrific job. She was still demanding and expectant, but for the better. She had changed considerably in Marissa's eyes. She was no longer the party girl that was the first to get drunk and high at parties. Now she was hardworking and serious. She was still confident as hell, but a little more kind with her words. Bitterness still laced her tone though. To anyone else, Summer seemed like a normal businesswoman, but Marissa knew that she was still hurting tremendously inside. 

Marissa glowed. Summer was jealous. Marissa always got everything first. She was the first to fall in love and the first to get married. She was really happy for her friend, though envious of something that would probably never happen to her. Sure, she dated tons of guys, but she could never let any of them in. So she just stopped picking up nice guys altogether and started going after guys who only wanted one thing. And she was fine with that, really. 

She was incredibly nervous as she picked out an outfit to wear to dinner at the Cohens. This was a pre-engagement party dinner, where Marissa and Ryan would introduce the members of the wedding party to the family. He would be there. The thought made her physically tremble. What would he be like? She wanted everything to be the same, but it wouldn't be. It would never be. She rifled through her garment bag and pulled out a sexy YSL dress designed for her by Tom Ford personally. If tonight was as big as she knew it was going to be, then she wanted to look as great at possible. 

***

Sandy walked by as Seth sat in his room, tying a tie while his latest "girlfriend" flipped through his cd collection. She was a brunette, and she made him wonder why they didn't call them dumb brunettes. He didn't know where his son found these girls. They couldn't possibly have too much in common. He wondered where he and Kirsten had gone wrong with their son. He had started out so innocent, but now he was petulant and hostile towards everyone. Of course he had done well in college and gone on to create a successful television show, but in life he was not successful. This was not the way they raised him. Sandy wished Seth could just find a girl who could settle him down and bring him back to the way he used to be. He wanted him to be happy. 

***

Seth rolled his eyes as his date said something completely inane. She was going into the reject pile right after this little party his parents were holding for Ryan and Marissa. He didn't even know why he had to come anyway. It would be lame like all of the other functions he had been to in the past 27 years. At least if the party was boring, he had something to do afterwards; his date was good for something. He knew it wouldn't be though. She would be there. He would not have a dull moment, or at least his mind wouldn't. He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, but it did. He knew it, and everyone else knew it. Even his date, as imperceptive as she was, could probably tell he was acting a little un-Seth like. 

Apart from the sighting on the beach, Seth had seen her a few times before at different functions around LA. Each time with a new boyfriend: Eric, the pro baseball player, Simon, the English up and coming actor, Chris, the frat-boy turned model, Jason, the gym/club owner, even that little pop punk-bastard from Simple Plan. Whatever. He had to forget about her because it was perfectly clear that she had forgotten about him. The first time, he physically hid himself from her, shielding himself from the pain that she would inevitably bring. But that had been years ago, and now he really didn't give a shit about her anymore. He rivaled her in dates and was proud of it. At least, that's what he wanted to believe.

__

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth   
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt   
Still a little hard to say what's going on   
  
Still a little bit of your ghost, your witness   
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed   
You step a little closer each day   
Still I can't see what's going on   
  
Stones taught me to fly   
Love taught me to lie   
Life taught me to die   
So it's not hard to fall   
When you float like a cannonball   
  
Still a little bit of your song in my ear   
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear   
You step a little closer to me   
So close that I can't see what's going on   
  
Stones taught me to fly   
Love taught me to lie   
Life taught me to die   
So it's not hard to fall   
When you float like a cannon   
  
Stones taught me to fly   
Love taught me to cry   
So come on courage!   
Teach me to be shy   
'Cause it's not hard to fall   


And I don't want to scare her…   


It's not hard to fall   


And I don't wanna lose   


It's not hard to grow   


When you know that you just don't know   


***

Summer fidgeted in front of the door, checking her reflection in the mirror once more before ringing the doorbell. It was now or never. Who cared, anyway? Not her, not Summer. Summer Roberts did not care about anyone but herself. Everyone knew that. Well, everyone except for her heart. It throbbed. She didn't know if she would be ready for this. There was no turning back now.

Ryan opened the door and greeted her with a warm hug. Although, he wasn't that fond of her, she was still Marissa's best friend, and he had to be courteous.

"Wow, Summer, you look great! Come on in."

This was different, Chino was actually being hospitable and semi-charming. Again, how did Marissa get so lucky. "You look so great too Ryan. Really, you do. I'm so happy for you both."

"Thanks, Kirsten and Sandy and Marissa are in the kitchen. But don't worry, they're not trying to cook or anything." He smiled, and Summer was set at ease. It was as if nothing had ever happened and she was back in the 11th grade, coming over for dinner at the Cohen's home. Like old times. 

"Hey Sum, you look gorgeous. That dress is killer!"

"Thanks Coop, you look so beautiful too."

Marissa kissed Ryan and squeezed him. "That's what love does." _Gag me. _It was sickeningly sweet, but yet really nice. She smiled and greeted the Cohens who looked a little older, but as good as ever.

"Hello, Summer. How are you?" Sandy hugged her and gave her a reassuring pat on the back, as if he was saying that everything was alright. No hard feelings. 

"I'm fine, thank you. Do you need any help with anything?" 

"We're fine, hon. Sit down in the living room, I'm sure Julie and Caleb and Jimmy will be here soon." Kirsten smiled tiredly. She knew Seth had changed because of something that happened with Summer, but she didn't want to hold it against the girl. It was hard not to, since Summer seemed to have changed for the better, but Seth was just as apathetic as ever. It wasn't fair. But Kirsten had lived in Newport to know that nothing was fair and she could only hope that things would turn out the way they were meant to. 

"Come on Sum, we can look at some of the things we're thinking about for the wedding." Marissa dragged her outside to the living room, leaving the Cohens behind.

***

He heard her laugh. It struck him like a bullet from the sky. For all the years he had tried to forget everything, it all came barreling back to him. He felt a sharp, twisting pain at the base of his chest. This was not supposed to be the way it panned out. He was stronger than her memory was. She could not have this effect on him after all the things she had done to him. "Come on, let's go," he growled at his date. 

By the time he had reached the top of the steps, he had heard his grandfather come in with Julie Cooper and thanked them for picking a good time to come. He saw her, sitting there in her designer dress all made up. She was still so beautiful. But her beauty was not kind. It was the beauty that hurt and stung you. It was beauty that was too good for anyone. And now, it was show time. He didn't just write tv shows, he could act pretty damn well too. This was going to be the greatest performance ever. 

***

She saw him walk down the stairs with a beautiful model looking girl attached to his side. She tried to avert the gaze, but the force field was too strong. For the first time since their graduation, she saw Seth Cohen. He looked the same, but more rugged and disheveled. She found it difficult to breathe. The whole house, all the people, everything was suffocating her. She needed a drink. "Marissa, I think I'm going to get something to drink."

"Okay." Marissa looked at her quizzically. Summer looked like she was going to pass out. 

Then she saw Seth walking down the stairs. No wonder. Marissa was not a fan of the new Seth Cohen. Truthfully, she thought he was a spoiled asshole that everyone bent over backwards to do things for while he spat in their faces and insulted them. She was definitely not a fan of all of his girlfriends who were vapid and self-absorbed. For the Cohens' sake Marissa had tried to fix him up with girls she knew from work, but he rejected them all. They weren't good enough for him. She thought he deserved everything he got.

Well, actually she thought he needed someone to balance him out; someone who was enough like him that she would put him in his place. Marissa knew who that person was. Everyone knew. It was just a matter of fate taking over, and if fate had a helping hand, then good. The process would just move along quicker.

***

Summer walked to the kitchen to pour herself something very strong. Seth saw it. Pathetic. She still ran away from everything that scared her. He wouldn't give her the chance this time. His heart was broken. By the time he was done, hers would be too.

__

Cannonball by Damien Rice


	15. not ashamed to be the person that I am t...

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Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Author's note: well since all of my test this week are over, hopefully I will have more time to write and update my stories. Seth and Summer finally get to meet in this chapter, but it's not such a felicitous reunion. That said, please still enjoy…and keep on leaving reviews, I love reading the feedback to my stories!

****

One

Chapter: not ashamed to be the person that I am today 

"Summer." His voice cracked a little. He was a grown man, he couldn't understand how the hell his voice was still that of a 13 year old's. "What, just happened to be in town?"

"Seth." She visibly stiffened and turned to face him. "It's good to see you."

"Wish I could say the same." She could see the look of hatred burning in his eyes. 

"Look Seth, I know we're not the best of friends or whatever, but we have a vested interest in this wedding and I'd really like to get through it without any incidents."

He poured himself a drink and downed it. He leaned in very close to her and sneered, "Whatever, Summer. We'll do it your way because the queen always gets her way, doesn't she?"

She could smell the liquor on his breath. Summer was disgusted. Who the hell was this? This wasn't the Seth Cohen that she had once cared so much about. This was a drunk imposter in his place. He wasn't half the man he used to be. Her heart pangs were almost unbearable. _Who are you? This is not the man I was once in love with. _Love? That was a joke. She couldn't love anyone, not even herself. Especially not herself.

"That's right. You remember well, I call the shots, and Coop and Chino are going to have a peaceful and beautiful wedding, so just deal with it."

A flash of anger crossed his face. No one had spoken to him in that tone for some time. He was used to getting everything his way. Not with Summer here. He suddenly felt like the scared 4th grader who was afraid to share his poem in class because it was about a particular girl who was completely indifferent to him. He was the gawky 7th grader whose voice hadn't changed who tripped over himself whenever he was near her. He was the 10th grader who rambled on and on every time she spoke to him. All of the insecurities he had hidden within were suddenly resurfacing. 

Great timing. 

"I still see you are as endearing and charming as ever, Summer."

"Right back at ya."

"Ahem." Marissa looked at them expectantly in the doorway. At least they hadn't killed each other and no one was crying yet. "My mom and your grandfather are here. And my dad just pulled up." Summer followed her out, but not without stopping to steal a glance at Seth who was leaned up against the sink, drinking another drink. He squinted his eyes and turned away from her stare. The sparks between them, although they were fierce and cool, were still undeniable. Both of them felt it, but neither was strong enough to admit it. 

***

"Everyone, thank you so much for coming tonight. We just wanted to take this opportunity to have this dinner so that everyone could become acquainted with one another. It really means a lot to us that you've all come here to share this really happy occasion with us. Marissa has made these really organized folders that have all the information about the wedding and engagement dinner and what everyone is supposed to do and what they are in charge of." Ryan beamed as he took Marissa's hand and squeezed it. _Vomit._

Summer flipped through her folder, reading all of the different events and instructions. She had to hand it to Coop, she did know how to plan one awesome party. 

"Now, I would like to introduce the wedding party. The first couple of wedding attendants is Marty Chuu, my roommate and best friend from Berkeley and Kathryn Halls, Marissa's friend and co-worker at the clinic. The next two are Dan James, my good friend and co-worker at the firm and Lisa Jennings, Marissa's roommate from UCSD. We have Tom Clarke, my best friend and mentor from Northwestern and Marissa's sister, Caitlin, a co-maid of honor. Last, but definitely not least, we have my brother and best friend Seth Cohen, the best man and Marissa's oldest and dearest friend Summer Roberts, the other maid of honor. These two will be working with each other to plan all of the bachelor and bachelorette activities, so if any one needs to get in contact with them, their numbers are in the folders." Summer plastered on the brightest smile she could, the sharpness of her smile cutting Seth up slowly.

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. They had both stayed away from one another, except for a small incident in which Seth's date started asking Summer all these questions about the magazine, her "absolute favorite" in the whole world. Perfect. They were avoiding each other for now, but as the wedding neared, they would have to spend countless hours in close contact with one another. Summer couldn't wait. And that was sarcasm. Or was it? If she hated him as much as she told herself she did, why did she furtively look for him across the room every chance she got? And if he was completely over her, why did he take notice of every movement she made when at the dinner table? This was confusing. It is impossible to not feel anything for someone with whom you have had such a strong history. Impossible. No matter how hard you try, that person will always hold a place inside you. Summer couldn't let go of him and Seth could not let go of her. All they could do is accept everything for what it was and just be comfortable. 

__

This is my life   
It's not what it was before   
All these feelings I've shared   
And these are my dreams   
That I'd never lived before   
Somebody shake me   
Because I, I must be sleeping   
  
Now that we're here,   
It's so far away   
All the struggle we thought was in vain   
All in the mistakes,   
One life contained   
They all finally start to go away   
Now that we're here its so far away   
And I feel like I can face the day 

I can forgive and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today   
  
These are my words   
That I've never said before   
I think I'm doing okay   
And this is the smile   
That I've never shown before   
  
Somebody shake me because I,   
I must be sleeping   
  
I'm so afraid of waking   
Please don't shake me   
Afraid of waking   
Please don't shake me   


***

She sat in Aqua, going through a stack of papers and talking on the phone. Coop and Mrs. Cohen were meeting her for lunch so they could go over last minute details for the engagement dinner. 

"Ryan, just try on the suit. If you don't like it, I can have another one sent in from New York. We have time. Don't worry about it. No, no it's fine. Did you try on the Varvatos suit that you're going to be wearing tomorrow night? And it looks good? Okay good. Alright, is the other suit on? Well, how does it look? Hmm, I'll call the store tomorrow and see if they have any other cuts that I think will would look good." Kirsten walked up to the table where Summer was seated and waved before taking her seat.

"Good, good. Okay, I have to go, your mom's here. Do you want to talk to her? Okay, alright, I'll see you later. Bye." She flipped her phone shut and sighed. "Why is it so hard to get men to try on clothes?"

"It's just Ryan, sweetie. He's always been like that."

"Serious problems that kid has. Did Seth get his suit?"

"I think so, I'm not sure. He hasn't called me."

"Well, I hope he got it because I had to call the Hugo Boss people and beg them to rush deliver it to his office. If someone would have not procrastinated…"

"Yeah, Seth's a little preoccupied these days. I appreciate you taking care of all this stuff Summer. I mean, you're busy enough already, but you're taking care of details that I should be handling."

"No way, Mrs. Cohen. This is my business; I do fashion for a living. I like doing this for Marissa and Ryan, they deserve it."

"Yes, happiness is certainly in order for them after all they've been through."

Summer nodded in agreement. But after all this time, they still persisted as a couple. 

"What about you hun? Are you involved with anyone special?"

"No one special. I just date around, I'm kind of busy. It's really hard to find someone, which is strange because you'd think there are so many men in New York, but they are like either married or jerks or both."

Kirsten smiled and looked at the girl sitting with her. She had aged a bit, but she still possessed that girlish charm that her son had fallen in love with. Even though Summer was a bit aggressive and demanding, Kirsten could see why Seth had loved her so much. "Well, I hope you find a good one someday. You deserve it."

"Thanks." Summer suddenly wished that Coop was there with them. Being here, talking about relationships with Seth's mother was not so comforting. She nervously shuffled the papers back into her bag, praying that Marissa would sashay through the door soon.

"I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two, Summer. It would've been nice. I really wanted you and Seth to end up together. I thought it could work. You were good for him. He was really happy with you and I just wanted him to be happy. I really did…" she trailed off slowly. 

Summer stared down at the tablecloth and softly replied, "I'm sorry."

Kirsten took her hand and patted it reassuringly and looked at Summer. "It's not your fault, sweetie. It's no one's fault." Kirsten smiled weakly. 

No longer afraid, Summer felt comforted by her presence. Marissa floated through the door and suddenly everything was forgotten. The afternoon was spent gossiping and planning, laughing like friends would. Friends. Kirsten's confession stuck in her memory even though she involved herself in the new conversation. _I really wanted you and Seth to end up together. _ She loved Kirsten Cohen, but she could not will herself to love Seth again. Or at least get over her pride and let herself love him.

__

So Far Away by Staind


	16. maybe you're gonna be the one that saves...

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Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all.

Note: Well, I had a little bit on time on my hands, so as a bonus, I decided to update once more this week while I still had a free schedule. This chapter is a short one, but there is more Seth and Summer interaction, so I hope you enjoy. And I promise that the next chapter will have a lot more action. I will probably be updating my other story, **Lady in Red**,tomorrow, so look out for it. Thanks for all the reviews also, keeping leaving me feedback! And to answer Melanie-37's question, I do have the whole story pretty much planned out, so I know what is going to happen in the end, it's all a matter of me writing it all out. 

One

Chapter 16: maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me

Summer smoothed the wrinkles on her dress while she fixed her hair. It was so hectic outside where hundreds of guests roamed about the Cohens' property. The air was crisp, after all, this was February, but the ambiance was so warm and inviting. Marissa had chosen different shades of cream and dark red for the wedding colors, so Kirsten and Sandy turned the house into a warm red paradise. Everything was beautiful, but not overdone. She walked back out into the throngs of people and looked at the cream colored candles and crimson scarves that covered the lamps. This was the way it was supposed to be. Perfection. 

She grabbed a glass of champagne from a server and walked out into the backyard. Everyone was so happy inside, so content with everything. But she wasn't. She felt like a farce, smiling and laughing when inside all she wanted to do was hide in a corner and cry. _Poor Summer. _This could have been hers. She ruined her chance to have happiness and love. She always ruined things. All she wanted was a chance to have a modicum of what Ryan and Marissa felt for each other. Summer was difficult and she was petulant, but at the end of the day, she was like everyone else. All she wanted was a little bit of love and happiness. 

She walked, hesitantly, into the pool house, a place she had been in a thousand times before. It was completely different. The couch and everything were still there, but the addition of a huge cherry wood desk and several large bookcases made the place seem much more business like than leisure like. 

"Party stifling you too?" Seth smiled as he walked toward her. She nodded. They had been on much better terms for the past few days that she had seen him. 

"What happened to this place? It's so corporate now."

"I moved back after college, and they turned this place into a home office for me to write." He headed behind the bar to pour himself and Summer a drink. He turned on the CD player and Liam Gallagher's voice filled the room.

"Thanks." It was still uncomfortable between them. She could feel his eyes bore into her flesh, much as they used to in high school. 

"You look beautiful tonight, Summer," he stared at her until her eyes lifted to meet his, "but you always do." He whispered with a slight slur in his voice. Maybe she was getting another chance. And even though her mind screamed at her to deny him and reject him like he did her, she ignored it. It felt good to be wanted by Seth. 

Seth looked into her eyes and he saw it. He saw the love she felt for him, being uncapped after all the years apart. Was she finally ready to accept him? Would she be ready to let everyone know that yes, she Summer Roberts, was in love with him? He didn't know. It was true. He wanted her to want him, but for entirely different reasons. Seth Cohen was not pure hearted. When he wanted something, there were always ulterior motives. This was no exception.

__

Today is gonna be the day   
That they're gonna throw it back to you   
By now you should've somehow   
Realized what you gotta do   
I don't believe that anybody   
Feels the way I do about you now   


Backbeat the word was on the street   
That the fire in your heart is out   
I'm sure you've heard it all before   
But you never really had a doubt   
I don't believe that anybody feels   
The way I do about you now   
  
And all the roads we have to walk are winding   
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding   
There are many things that I would   
Like to say to you   
but I don't know how   
  
Because maybe   
You're gonna be the one that saves me?   
And after all   
You're my wonderwall   
  
Today was gonna be the day?   
But they'll never throw it back to you   
By now you should've somehow   
Realized what you're not to do   
I don't believe that anybody   
Feels the way I do   
About you now   
  
And all the roads that lead you there were winding   
And all the lights that light the way are blinding   
There are many things that I would like to say to you   
I don't know how   
  
I said maybe   
You're gonna be the one that saves me ?   
And after all   
You're my wonderwall   
  
I said maybe   
You're gonna be the one that saves me ?   
And after all   
You're my wonderwall   
  
Said maybe   
You're gonna be the one that saves me   


You're gonna be the one that saves me   


You're gonna be the one that saves me   
  
_Wonderwall by Oasis_


	17. What the hell am I doing here?

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Rating: R for this chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is affiliated with Fox's The OC.

Author's Note: Since I am in such a good mood--I just finished an exam that I thought went really well, I decided to finish up this chapter and post it. Warning: if you are not a big fan of the "ass-hole" Seth character that has proliferated this story, you are most certainly not going to like this chapter. That is just my warning, but know that with the bad comes the good, so things will get better--just give me some time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I think it was my favorite to write. And thank you for all the kind reviews--I appreciate every comment that is left--thanks and enjoy…

****

One

Chapter 17: What the hell am I doing here?

Summer tossed her head back as she laughed at another story Seth told her. She was buzzing a little bit; the several flutes of champagne had gone straight to her head. However drunk she was, she was still painfully aware of how Seth was affecting her. This was insane. She was feeling emotions that she hadn't felt in a long time. Excitement. Fear. Lust. She wanted him so badly. She wanted to feel him again. And again. 

The party was still going on full swing inside the Cohen house. No one noticed that they were gone. Seth liked it that way. Summer looked a little hazy, but smiled in the all too familiar seductive smirk that she employed when she was ready. "You look tense, Sum. You want me to massage your shoulders?" She murmured back a response and shifted so he could get behind her. He squeezed the flesh between her neck and shoulders gently, letting his fingers burn her skin with their touch. She let a moan escape from her mouth; she hadn't felt this good in a long time. 

__

When you were here before   
Couldn't look you in the eye   
You're just like an angel   
Your skin makes me cry   


He slipped the delicate strap of her dress over her shoulder. He kissed her pale winter skin as he continued to rub her back. Summer inhaled deeply. Seth continued to kiss her neck and earlobes. She turned to him and pulled herself into his lap. Capturing his lips with hers, she let them absorb his beauty. His hands rubbed her bare legs, sending tingles through both of their spines. It had been a long time, but the feelings were ingrained in their memory. She felt his dark curls slip between her fingers as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled away slightly, letting his nose rest on hers as he looked into her eyes. She kissed it and hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

__

You float like a feather   
In a beautiful world   
I wish I was special   
You're so fuckin' special   


Seth picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Laying her gently onto the bed, he beheld the sight before him. Her hair was slightly tousled, but fell in natural waves against the bedspread. There was something else there though. She looked vulnerable and gorgeously innocent. She still knew how to take his breath away. He leaned down to kiss her cheek, then rubbed his own cheek against hers. Her tongue once again found its partner, and they were inseparable for what seemed like eternity. He made his way down her neck and clavicle, making her sigh with content. The heat was unbearable. She slowly started unbuttoning his shirt, but he placed his hands over hers and started to quicken the pace. As soon as he freed himself from his shirt, he reached behind her to liberate her from her confines. Soon the only things separating them from each other were pieces of lace and silk. Nothing more. 

Summer pulled Seth on top of her and felt overwhelmingly dizzy. Was this really happening? A week ago she could not stand the sight of him, and now he was going to make love to her. She kissed him again and again, her body begging him for more. He kissed her waist and clasped her hands in his. She waited for him to make his move. 

"Cohen, I want you so badly. I need you. I'm sorry for everything." She stared into his eyes but turned away when they glazed over. 

This was not the way it was supposed to be.

__

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.   
What the hell am I doing here?   
I don't belong here. 

He let out a forced laugh. He unclasped his hands and stood over her. "Sorry? You want me, don't you Summer?" Her eyes were already welled up with tears, but she didn't give in. It took every ounce of his strength to not tear up. But he was stronger than he thought. All of the years of anger made him this way.

__

I don't care if it hurts   
I want to have control   
I want a perfect body   
I want a perfect soul   


He retrieved his shirt and threw it back on haphazardly. "Good one Roberts. Jump into bed with the first guy who offers. That's really classy." Her lips trembled and she bit on them to keep them from doing so. She covered her almost naked body with her arms, hugging herself and reassuring herself at the same time. _This is a bad dream. _ "Way to go Wonder Whore." Her own words coming from his mouth hurt more than she could ever imagine. 

__

I want you to notice   
When I'm not around   
You're so fuckin' special 

He walked out of the pool house and felt sick. He didn't know what his problem was. Finally, he had gotten what he wanted all those years, just a little revenge. But it wasn't supposed to feel this badly. Seth would have gone further, he would have tricked her into sleeping with him, but he couldn't. He saw the look she gave him. The look of pure unadulterated love. He saw it and yet he still fucked with her. He was a sorry excuse of a person. A waste. He picked up a glass that had been left behind and downed whatever was in it. He winced as the bitter aftertaste was left burning a hole in his throat.

__

I wish I was special 

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.   
What the hell am I doing here?   
I don't belong here   


Summer sat in the bed, with the covers pulled over most of her body. She made no attempt to redress. She had already been debased enough for one night. It couldn't get any worse. For some reason, she wasn't crying. She shivered in between the sheets, and felt disgusted. Maybe she was a whore. If she had made him hate her that much, then maybe she deserved everything she got. 

She's running out again,   
She's running out   
She's run run run running out...   
  
She sat up and put her dress on over her head. She walked calmly out of the pool house and around the back of the house, as to not be seen by the party guests. She walked for awhile, not really in any direction, but ended up in the exact place she knew she was going to end up. 

Whatever makes you happy   
Whatever you want   
You're so fuckin' special   
I wish I was special... 

Her part of the beach. The beach that had welcomed her back to the OC. She walked towards the water and let her tears finally flow out into the sand. It was cold, but she didn't notice. Her feet touched the icy water and it cut her up, but she felt nothing. She was knee deep in the water before everything started to come back to her. Her body heaved with sobs as the waves pounded her repeatedly, punishing her for everything that she had done. The ocean was unforgiving, but at the same time, it gave her an unparalleled feeling of tranquility. 

__

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo,   
What the hell am I doing here?   
I don't belong here  


She felt his presence as he walked out towards the water. Seth was there to apologize, but she wasn't willing to accept. "Summer, I love you. I'm so so sorry. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing anymore." It was a mistake to come back here. She could not deal with this pain right now, so she did what she knew best. She ran. She ran down the length of the beach, leaving him alone to suffer for what he did. 

__

I don't belong here

Creep by Radiohead


	18. I will make you hurt

__

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing--not the OC, not the characters, not the songs.

Author's note: Since I am done with finals, I will be able to write and update more in the next few weeks. I only see a few more chapters in the future for this story, so the end is near L . Thanks to everyone who has ever left a review--it really means a lot to me, since this is the first fic I've ever wrote. Keep on reviewing…and enjoy--

One

Chapter 18: I will make you hurt 

Summer opened the door to her apartment and threw her purse and briefcase on the couch. Kenji ran up to her and licked her legs as she collapsed onto a chair. It was her first day back at work and she had been swamped with phone calls and tasks to take care of. She was tired and she needed a rest. 

The rest of the week spent in Newport had been just helping Marissa with wedding coordinating. She stayed away from the Cohens as much as she possibly could, which really didn't matter as he had gone back to LA the day after the engagement party. Everyone had noticed a change in her. She walked a little bit straighter and her head was held a little bit higher. She needed to make up for the humiliation and pain that was dealt to her. She was quicker to snap at things than ever before, rage blackouts and all. 

***

She turned on the television as she started to cook dinner. _Great. _His show was on. Something inside her would not let her turn it off. Within a few minutes, she was engrossed in the story. Every phrase, every movement, there was double meaning in it. 

***

Jamie walked down to her favorite place on the beach. She looked out over the waves as the sun set over them. This was her favorite time of day. The end of another day. She hugged her arms to herself protectively. It was chilly this winter. She heard footsteps behind her. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was. 

Sam placed his coat on her shoulders. She looked at him hopefully and he took her hand into his. He moved behind her and hugged her to him. She leaned into him comfortably. It seemed like everything was going right for them. Sam leaned down and kissed her softly, then with more passion. As he pulled away, she smiled at him, but he stared blankly at her. 

"What is it, Sam."

He laughed, "How can you stand there and do this, Jamie?"

"Do what?"

"You stand there and you pretend that everything is alright between us."

"Isn't it?"

"NO! Don't you see it? Every time we're alone, you are perfectly normal and I like to think you actually want to be there with me."

She took his hand in hers, "I do want to be with you."

"Well, why don't you show it then? When we're at school or around your friends, you ignore me. I can't do that anymore. I forgave you once, and you turned me down. I thought this could work, but I've been wrong this whole time."

"Sam, I want you. I need you to be with me," she started whimpering as a solitary tear trickled down her cheek.

"That's really great that you feel this way now, Jamie. Why don't you think about it the next time we're at a party that I wasn't invited to, while I have to watch you skank it up with some asshole."

Jamie was crying heavily now. She knew all of the things he said were true. He walked away from her and she sat down in the water letting the waves wash over her. She let them clean her and rid her of all her impurities. She didn't care if everyone saw her. She was hurting and she wanted the whole world to hurt with her.

***  


"Great show, Seth! You should've seen my wife last night. She was bawling." His business partner, Brett came along side him and patted him on the back. He was the more stable of the two. Brett had graduated from USC, then married his college sweetheart whom he had met while in his fraternity. It was too Newport for Seth to fathom. Brett was a good guy though, he was always there for Seth and didn't cast too much judgment on him. Brett knew that underneath the hard exterior that was Seth Cohen, Hollywood producer/writer, there was a softer, gentler man who had a good heart. It's just that no one had ever seen that man. 

"Oh yeah? It's good to know that the writing is hitting people where it matters."

"How, do you do it man? It's so emotional and intense."

"Are you saying that I'm emotionless and dull?"

"No, of course not, it's just for all the years I've known you, you haven't been Mr. Touchy-feely. And as for your relationships, I don't call your longest relationship of one and half months significant."

Seth shrugged, it wasn't anything he hadn't heard before. "I just see things. I picture them in my mind as what should happen. Jamie feels guilty for hurting Sam and he has hardened because of what she's done to him. It's pretty simple when you think about it."

Brett looked at him. Nothing was ever that simple. Obviously, Seth had experience with the subject--how else would anyone be able to write something so raw and emotion wrought. "Whatever, man, just keep it up. The rating are going through the roof. We're getting all the numbers in the 18-49 female and male categories. We have lunch with Robert today to discuss the season finale at noon at Birds. And tonight, Lakers, Mavs?"

"Yeah, I remember. Thanks." Seth honestly didn't really care about viewers or ratings or whatever. He only cared that one person watched his show. He knew she had seen it, he just felt it. He still felt like a complete asshole for what he did, but he got over it. Life wasn't fair. Too bad. She had never been fair to him. 

She took his young and vulnerable heart, played with it, then acted like he wasn't alive. Had he been the spineless Seth Cohen before Ryan showed, he probably would've let her. But he had grown a backbone and he wasn't going to put up with that from any girl. He had broken up with Anna for her. And then she had broken his heart again. He remembered the night of the party once more, the look on her face when she whispered that she loved him in front of all those stupid Newport assholes. They were 18, what did any of them know about love? All Summer knew was hurt. And that's what she inflicted upon him. She thought she could have him to play with whenever she wanted, but he had shot her down. And he just let her go. He had spent many a night sitting on the Summer's Breeze with a bottle of vodka as his companion, just thinking of her. Drowning out his sorrow in alcohol, learning to use drunkenness as an effective coping mechanism. After all, he did have more of his mother's blood in him. Eventually, his heart hardened, with the memory of Summer inside. And with that came the flood of emotions that were poured out whenever pen touched paper. Even in his work, she was all he could think of. She tortured and haunted him always.

And then she had come back, just suddenly showed up once more. So he hurt her. He punished her for coming back and awakening the old feelings that were buried inside of him. What was the other alternative? He had to do it--he needed to purge her from his system. She had made his life miserable. And somehow she had done that by just being there. 

He took out a bottle of vodka from his refrigerator. He poured it into a glass and drank, slowly, relishing the taste of the strong, unmixed alcohol. He turned around and looked at the city of Burbank. He could see people bustling about on the lot, rushing to get scenes done. Everything was always so fast and orderly; everything was under such control on his show. That's the way he had to have it. Unfortunately, his own life was much more disorderly and out of control. He tried to take another sip but realized that the glass tumbler was empty. _When did you become such a worthless drunk?_ He threw his glass against the wall, watching it shatter into many little pieces. 

Seth had to change his life. It was going nowhere. He had a career, but with his drinking and partying habits, how long would it be until they replaced him with staff writers and took away his say in everything? He hardly had any friends. He had severely damaged ties with his family. He had no one to be with, let alone love him. He needed to be saved. There was only one person who could, but he screwed that chance up again too. Why was he kidding himself, even if he hadn't screwed up royally with her, she'd still be the heartless bitch she always was. People didn't change. He sat at his desk with his head covered with his hands. Then he began to write. 

__

I hurt myself today  
to see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
the only thing that's real  
the needle tears a hole  
the old familiar sting  
try to kill it all away  
but I remember everything  


what have I become?  
my sweetest friend  
everyone I know  
goes away in the end  
and you could have it all  
my empire of dirt  
  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt  
  
I wear this crown of thorns  
upon my liar's chair  
full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
beneath the stains of time  
the feelings disappear  
you are someone else  
I am still right here  
  
what have I become?  
my sweetest friend  
everyone I know  
goes away in the end  
and you could have it all  
my empire of dirt  
  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt  
  
if I could start again  
a million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way  


Hurt performed by Johnny Cash  



	19. I'll put a spell on you

__

Rating: PG-13/R for language

Disclaimer: I own nothing…

Author's note: Well only a few chapters left--this chapter plants the seeds for the last few, so bear with me. Also, I started to write a new story, **Still Fighting It**, which I will post sometime later today. Please read that story (and this one) and tell me what you think! Thanks for the feedback--I appreciate all the comments. I may also be writing a one-shot this weekend, so keep an eye out for more stories from me…thanks and enjoy!

One

Chapter 19: I'll put a spell on you…

Summer dreaded coming back, but the day was near. Marissa's wedding was in two weeks and tonight was the Bachelor/Bachelorette Party. They were all in Vegas with dozens of Ryan and Marissa's friends. The whole party had ended up at Light, a club that was the hotbed for celebrities--Seth's choice. Beautiful girls and boys drinking fancy drinks and hooking up left and right.

The perfect environment for a heartbroken individual.

Everyone was already wasted and having the time of their lives out on the dance floor, but Summer really did not feel like partying. She sat alone in a booth, watching all the debaucherous scenes around her. Since when was she not the partying type? Even when she had returned to New York, she had declined all offers to go out and attend the biggest parties in town. The people of that whole scene were so empty and cold. Parties held no hope for her. Even the taste of alcohol, once a comfort, disgusted her.

Maybe she just needed a change of scenery. After the wedding, she'd ask Marcy if she could get relocated to _Skin Deep_'s office in Paris. She could start over where no one knew her. Where she wouldn't be constantly reminded of everything that had happened in the past. That was it, she just needed a change of pace. She needed to get away from everything. A guy from across the bar smiled at her, and she smiled back. He started walking over, and Summer mentally checked to see if Seth was watching. He was. He always was. She could have a little bit of fun with this. If he could screw around with her feelings, she could most certainly do the same to him.

Seth watched her from the bar. She was grinding against some tool. He took another shot and asked for another. He turned around to look again and saw her wrapping her arms around the guy's neck and letting his pelvis thrust into her. She didn't seem to be turning him away. Whatever. He could play that game too. He looked around the dance floor for his next target, immediately locking eyes with a hot brunette smiling at him. Perfect, something to get his mind off things. He took the shot for courage and headed out onto the floor.

Seth pulled himself up on a barstool. He was really starting to feel the effect of the alcohol. He may have had a bit too much this time. The girl he was dancing with left with her friends long ago after he could barely support himself. Summer was dripping over the same guy. What did that guy have that he didn't? A chiseled face and some hardcore pecs for starters. Now they were practically having intercourse on the dance floor. Seth once recalled a conversation in which Summer claimed to not be a fan of the PDA, but times change, because the two were kissing and nuzzling in full view of anyone who cared to look. Seth ordered another drink. He was not a happy man.

Summer was getting a little tired of this whole situation. Sure, Mike was a nice guy, but he was getting increasingly drunk and more slobbery. She had only meant to tease Seth a little bit, not feel like a gigantic whore. Mike's hands were planted firmly on her ass and his tongue slid over her collarbone. She looked over at the bar, but could no longer see Seth sitting there anymore.

"Hey, babe? You wanna go back to my room now?"

"Umm, why don't you get a head start and I'll meet you there." He nodded and stumbled towards the casino. She was glad to be rid of him that easy. Usually they put up more of a fight, but Mike was definitely beyond intoxicated.

She stepped out into the summer weather. Although it was about 2 AM, it was still humid. Throngs of people still filled the streets of the Strip, looking for more parties or going home after getting trashed. She walked along, not stopping to take any of those fliers the guys in the yellow shirts handed out or looking at any of the casinos. She just wanted to get home and sleep. People pushed past a man walking not too far in front of her. He was stumbling and wavering around. _It wasn't. It could not be. Well, it could most definitely be, but what were the chances._

"Seth?" A low mumble escaped from his lips. He had no idea where the hell he was or where he was going. It felt like he had been circling for the last hour. She wrapped his arm around her shoulder and threw all of her body weight into supporting him. "Come on, let's get you in bed."

"Haven't you already had enough sex for one night, and now you want to get me in bed?" he slurred, but his point came across perfectly. "I meant to ask, how was your quickie?"

"Not like it's any of your business, but we didn't do anything."

"Sure Summer I believe that. I do."

"Shut up Seth, I'll leave your drunk ass here."

"You might as well, you left me once before, so it shouldn't be so hard the second time."

Summer clenched her teeth together. "You chose to not accept me, Seth. Do not blame your pitiful existence on me. We could have had something, but you chose to go a different path."

"You were the one who never acknowledged me, ever."

"I don't want to talk about this. We're at the hotel, we'll get to your room, then we don't have to talk for the rest of the trip."

She sighed as she stepped off the elevator. It had been a long day. Imagine riding in a party bus with Luke "I always bring enough beer with me to last 6 months" Ward. As long as Coop was happy though, it was fine with her. Even if it meant having to cast Seth through a hallway, drunk off his ass.

Seth started moaning and clutching his stomach. Summer stopped in her tracks.

"What's wrong," she sounded more annoyed than anything, but she still was concerned. Seth curled up, holding his side. "Cohen? Cohen are you okay?"

"My fucking head is going to explode." His eyes were glassy and bloodshot. His face was paler than usual. She was staring to panic.

Summer had never taken care of anyone that had been ill before. She was the one who was usually drunk and almost passed out. "Oh god, Seth? What the fuck did you do?"

"I dunno, it hurts, though." She rolled her eyes. He moaned again, and it was obvious that he was in a lot of pain.

"How much did you drink?"

"A lot."

"That doesn't help me. Stand up."

"It fuckin hurts to move."

"Come on, I'll help you up and we can go back to your room so you can lie down and I can

figure out if I need to call a doctor or something."

"No doctors."

"Okay, it's not my fault if you die of alcohol poisoning."

"I'm fine, I just didn't eat anything. GOD, Damn it!" She put her arm around his waist and slowly dragged him through the hall as he yelped with pain. She supported his body weight with her own and laboriously trekked down the hall to his room. Getting to the room, he pulled her down with him on top of the covers. She gently lifted the covers and helped him into bed, removing any clothing that would constrict him. Summer tucked him in and retrieved a damp cloth to wipe the sweat off his face. She poured him a glass of water and helped him drink a little bit of it, then called room service for some soup and ginger ale. Hopefully that would put his stomach at ease for a little while. It seemed to work, since he quickly quieted down and the pains soon faded.

She fed him and then let him settle into bed. She brushed the hair off his forehead and looked at him. He looked peaceful as he tried to fall asleep. Like a little child. One that she could take care of. He looked into her eyes and saw something that he had never seen before. She was actually caring for someone other than herself. He took her hand and held it by his side. But as soon as he fell asleep, she removed it. This would not happen to her again. He had already hurt her too many times. This time she was done with him. Wasn't she?

__

I've been watching your world from afar

I've been trying to be where you are

I've been secretly falling apart

I'll see…

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful

You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see

You turn every head but you don't see me

I'll put a spell on you

You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you

When I wake you, I'll be the first thing you see

And you'll realize that you love me

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first

Sometimes the first thing you want never comes

I know that waiting is all you can do

Sometimes…

I'll put a spell on you

You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you

And when I wake up I'll be the first thing you see

And you'll realize that you love me

I'll put a spell on you

You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you

When I wake you up, I'll be the first thing you see

And you'll realize that you love me

She sat on a chair in the corner of his room until she was sure that he wasn't going to puke all over the place then aspirate on it. He pulled the covers up to his chin and his unruly hair poked out from underneath the sheets. He looked like a little boy. She gathered her things and cleaned up his room. He mumbled in his half sleep/half conscious state, saying combinations of words that did not make sense.

"Sum, I will never let go of you, I love you way too much," he mumbled the last sentence, but she heard it clearly. She stopped and replayed what was just said. She looked back at him, but he was sleeping, his mouth moving slightly. Did he mean what he had just said this time? On the beach, she had been sure that it was another ruse to trick her, but this was in his semi-subconscious state. This sentence made almost too much sense for her. She was more content hating Seth, not forgiving him. She needed to hold on to her hatred for him because that's what made her strong. If she let him in again, the vicious cycle would start over and she'd end up crying alone in her room. She couldn't deny the shiver that was sent up her spine when she heard him say those words. He was undeniable. He could have that effect on her anytime. A little trigger went off in her brain, that maybe just maybe, something could go right this time and she could forgive him. She walked out to her room and prepared herself for another restless night.

__

Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung


	20. On Friendship

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter, Ryan & Marissa's wedding is finally upon us. The poem used in this chapter is one of my favorites, and it was used in my sister's wedding, so I thought it would fit this occasion. Only a few chapters left, I hope you enjoy…

Chapter 20: On Friendship

Marissa ran around the bridal saloon frantically searching for her garter. She only had a few minutes until she was supposed to walk down the aisle, and now she didn't have her something blue!

"Coop, breathe, we'll find it. It has to be somewhere around here." All the other bridesmaids rushed around, turning everything over, searching for the satin undergarment.

"Here! Here it is," Caitlyn threw the garter to her sister, "Summer, we have to line up, they're cueing the music."

"Okay, I'll be right there." She helped bustle Marissa's dress one last time looking at herself and her best friend in the mirror. Marissa looked so serene, so happy. "You look so beautiful Coop. I'm so happy for you and Ryan right now, you don't even know." She started tearing up, but Marissa stopped her.

"Summer, don't make me cry yet!"

"Sorry, I can't help it. It's like your day. We've been planning this day since like fifth grade when you and Luke started going out."

"I know, it seems like it was yesterday. A lot has changed, and now I'm an adult. I feel so old."

"You still look great," the music started playing and there was a soft knock at the door,

"Coop, I just want to tell you that you're like a sister to me. You've always been there for me no matter what, and I'll always be there for you. I love you like you were my own sister."

"I love you too Summer." The two girls hugged as Jimmy Cooper walked into the room.

"Summer, I think they're waiting for you outside."

"Bye. I'll see you out there."

"Ready to go kiddo?" Marissa nodded as her father placed the veil over her head.

---

Summer walked out to the courtyard and got in line behind the others. Seth stood stoically next to her. He didn't look at her, and she didn't look at him. The string quartet started playing Pachelbel and the first couple started walking out. Seth looked over at Summer and noticed that her eyes were glassy and teared over. She looked so sweet. He nudged her and offered his arm, which she took, but only because she had to. He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed the side of her eyes.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

They walked arm in arm down the length of the courtyard. The smiling faces, the looks of joy. None of these people knew them. They had no idea how hard it was for Summer to be next to this man. Kirsten smiled at her son. He looked happy for the first time in a long while. The photographer paused in front of the couple and shot a picture of them walking down the aisle. Kirsten wanted everything to work out. She hoped that Seth hadn't messed up too badly. She hoped he could rectify the situation with Summer. Because no matter what had happened in the past, she had always seen a little bit of herself and Sandy in their son and Summer's relationship. Something real. Something lasting. The way Summer leaned into Seth's arm. The way Seth adjusted her bouquet. They could take care of each other. If only they could see it. All she wanted was for her two sons to be happy.

Summer was already bawling by the time the wedding march started playing. Marissa walked in on the arm of her father, and everyone gasped at how beautiful she looked. Ryan smiled and even teared a little bit. It was the most perfect moment anyone could have witnessed. The sun shone brightly in the early afternoon sky. The priest's words were jumbled in Summer's mind. She was taking in all the scenery. She looked at all the guests, their faces full of expectations and hope. The little children who were confused, but were smart enough to know that this was something important. The other groomsmen who stood on the other side of the bride and groom looked distinguished and handsome. Especially the one who had walked out with her. She couldn't believe that she was even thinking such things. He was a drunken asshole who had broken her heart countless times. And why was she even thinking of him in the same light? She couldn't love him. She wasn't supposed to be able to love him. He hurt her. But it always came back to Seth. Always. She could not let go. No matter what he did, no matter what she did. Her heart would always return to him.

"Now Ryan and Marissa have selected a special poem that will be read by the maid of honor, Summer Roberts and the best man, Seth Cohen."

Summer walked up to the microphone and stood beside Seth. She took a deep breath and started reading in a calm, unwavering voice.

On Friendship by Roy Croft

I love you, not for what you are, but what I am, when I am with you.  
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me that you bring out.  
  
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing  
over all the frivolous and weak things that you cannot help seeing  
there, and drawing out into the light all the beautiful and radiant  
things that no one else has looked quite far enough to find.

Seth closed his eyes as Summer read her lines. He opened them and somehow found the voice to read his part. He looked out into the audience and saw his parents. He looked over at Summer and saw that she was looking right at him. For some reason, he felt as if he were reading the poem to her, trying to offer a condolence or apology.

_I love you for ignoring the possibilities of the fool in me, and for  
laying hold of the possibilities of good in me.  
  
I love you for closing your eyes to the discords in me, and adding  
to the music in me by worshipful listening...  
  
You have done it without a touch, without a sign. _

You have done it by being yourself.

"Thank you." Seth and Summer retook their places as the priest continued with the ceremony.

"Ryan Atwood, do you take the Marissa Cooper as your wife to love and to cherish for as long as both of you shall live?"

"I do." Ryan smiled as he placed the ring on his bride's finger.

"Marissa Cooper, do you take the Ryan Atwood as your husband to love and to cherish for as long as both of you shall live?"

"I do." She put the ring on his finger and squeezed his hand.

"With the power invested in me, I hereby pronounce you man and wife." Their friends and family started clapping as Ryan and Marissa smiled at each other.

"You may now kiss the bride." He lifted her veil and kissed his wife. The woman he would be spending the rest of his life with. The woman he loved and could not do without.

The music started up again and the guests all rose to their feet. Ryan grabbed Marissa's hand and led her down the aisle, as a newly married couple. Rose petals were tossed in every which way and direction as the wedding party walked back out towards the reception hall. Summer stayed behind. She waited for all the others to leave first. It was finally done. Marissa was a married woman. She married the love of her life. And it was beautiful.

"Are you coming to go to the reception?"

She looked over at Seth, who was waiting with his arm stretched. "Yeah, I'm coming."

"Okay good."

Seth looked over at Summer. She was spaced out, thinking. He really did love her. He had a funny way of showing it, but he loved her with every ounce of his being.

She made him ache.

But when he was around her, he wanted to ache, as long as she didn't have to be the one in pain. Maybe things could turn out right between them. Maybe he could learn to swallow his pride and ask her for another chance. He didn't deserve it, but he wanted it so badly. It was time to step up and admit his feelings. He had to win her back. It was the only way he was going to change his life. It was the only way he was going to survive.

---

Summer fixed the wreath of flowers that sat on a flower girl's hair as the little girl told Summer all about her favorite teddy bear. Seth looked on at the scene adoringly. Summer fussed and brushed some dirt off of the child's dress. She looked so motherly and endearing. This was definitely not the Summer he knew. She smoothed the girl's chestnut colored hair as the she looked up admiringly at the lady who was patiently listening to her talk.

"My daddy says when I get older and become a better rider, I can get a horsey!"

"Really? Wow, how long have you been riding?"

"For 3 months," she held up four fingers as Summer laughed and fixed her mistake.

"Wow, you _are_ an experienced rider then. You know, when I was a kid, I used to ride horses too. I love horses."

"Really?" her eyes got wide as she realized that she shared something in common with her new friend.

"Yep. I used to ride in competitions when I was a little bit older than you."

"Wow, were you good?"

"I was pretty good, but I'm sure you'll be better." The little girl smiled and Seth melted. He slowly walked over to the exchange and leaned down to the preschooler's height.

"Hi, Suzy? Your mom is looking for you over there," he pointed at her mother, who looked relieved to find her.

"Bye Summer!"

"Bye Suzy, I'll see you later." Suzy flounced off towards her mother, who waved back at them.

"That was cute."

"Whatever."

"So, the stone cold Summer has a place in her heart for children. I always thought you hated kids."

"People change, Cohen."

"Yeah, they do." He looked into her eyes, but she turned away, finding something very interesting to look at in her compact mirror.

"Can I have this dance?" Summer looked up from her mirror at him.

"I guess." Seth took her hand and wrapped his around her waist and looked at her. "What, Cohen."

"Nothing. I just wanted to say that you look really nice tonight."

"Thanks, you look decent also."

"Summer, do you think we could maybe talk sometime? Like afterwards or something?"

"We have nothing to talk about."

"Well, I wanted to thank you for helping me out in Vegas, and apologize for being a complete douche bag to you."

"You are so eloquent, you should be a writer. Oh wait. You are."

"I mean it."

"Well, I'm not ready to talk. There's nothing we need to talk about, you're welcome."

"Okay, if you want it to be like this for the rest of our lives."

"There's no such thing as "our" lives, we lost that chance a long time ago."

"Summer, swallow your pride and stop being a bitch."

"Me, swallow my pride. Okay, that makes a whole lot of sense coming from you. Look, I do not want to cause a scene here. This is Coop's big day, and I want her to be happy. And I want to be happy."

"Hey, here's the best man and the maid of honor, smile for the camera, kids." The photographer snapped several pictures as Summer and Seth put on their party faces.

Marissa made her way over to the 'happy' couple as Summer looked like she was going to hit Seth. "Oh, no you don't Sum. Can I borrow her for a second?" Seth conceded and left to get a drink.

"Sum, you guys were looking friendly out there."

"I was going to hit him."

"That's why I came over. He's not that bad, what happened in the past should stay there. It was a long time ago. Maybe he deserves a second chance."

"He deserves? What about me? He never gave me one."

"Yeah, but that was high school. We were all stupid. Ryan tells me that he's miserable. And that he wants to change back to the way he was."

"And…don't pull your therapy stuff on me now Coop. Just because you are a psychologist…"

"Sum, you could be a catalyst for the change. Just give him another try. I'm not saying you have to date him or anything, just be friends again. That can be my wedding present."

"I got you 4 settings of your china from Bloomie's already."

"Come on, Sum."

"Okay. I'll try, but only because it's your day today."

"Thanks. Good luck." Marissa squeezed Summer's arm reassuringly. She was going to need all the support she could get.

Summer walked outside and peeled her shoes off her feet. Standing in stiletto heels all day was not fun. She saw him staring out at the beach from the deck.

"Seth, you wanted to talk?"

"Hey. It's beautiful here isn't it? I've forgotten how great this place is sometimes."

"Yeah." He turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry Summer. I should've given you a chance way back when."

"It was a long time ago. We both did things that we regretted."

"I never regretted being with you, you know that. And I never meant to intentionally hurt you, it's just that I couldn't deal with you not being there, so I built up this arsenal inside, all the things I would say and do when I saw you again."

"Seth, it's okay. We don't have to talk about this. It's a truce."

He didn't say anything for a few seconds. "You know I've always had feelings for you."

"Yes, I believe you made that clear when you rejected me."

Seth walked up behind her and brushed away the tears that flew from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Summer. I didn't mean that--I don't know what was going on in my head. I just thought. I thought that if I hurt you like you hurt me, it would help mend my heart a little bit faster, but it didn't. It only tore the wound open again. The last thing I would ever want is to hurt you. And I understand if you hate me, because right now I hate myself for not getting over my pride and just admitting that I wanted to be with you all these years. I'm sorry." He stepped closer to her, but Summer had had enough.

"Whatever." She did not want to deal with this, now.

"Thanks for taking care of me in Vegas, you didn't have to."

"You were in trouble, I had to do it. It's what any friend would do."

"What if I wanted to be more than friends."

"Aren't you going a bit quick?"

"No, this would be going a bit quick," he reached over and kissed her, grabbing the nape of her neck and pulling her into him. She pushed him away quickly. She had had enough confusion.

"What are you doing!"

"Summer, I can't deny you. I never could." He moved closer to her, and she felt her walls slowly crumbling to the ground.

"Seth, I can't do this now. Just a few minutes ago, I wanted to rip out your aorta. We can't go back to the beginning and pretend that nothing happened. We have a history."

"So what, you want to wait and be alone for the rest of your life," he was starting to get angry. Why couldn't she just give in and forgive him? Why couldn't she love him like he loved her?

"I don't want to be alone, Seth! I don't! But you're not really giving me any choice. Every

time I'm with you I want to cry. You hurt me so much, you don't even know. Sometimes I think I hate you, but I can't. Because I love you too much. And that scares me. It scares me because I know that you will hurt me. Because you don't love me."

"Summer…I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I've loved you since the 3rd grade. I was stupid, I fucked up, what else do you want me to say? It's not like you've been perfect this whole time either. Do you know how it feels to be rejected by the person you love because they aren't popular enough for you? Because they don't wear the right clothes or do the right things? Do you know how it feels to hate yourself because you know you can never be good enough?"

"I didn't hate you because you weren't popular. I don't fuckin care about that stuff. I don't care what the Julie Coopers of the world think about me?"

"Then why did you hurt me over and over again."

"I was scared. And that scares me. Summer Roberts is supposed to be cold and strong. She isn't scared of anything. It scares me because I know that you will hurt me. Because you don't love me and because I don't deserve to be with you. I've gotta go." Summer could not face her problems, so she did the only thing she knew how to do. She ran. She ran off towards the bridal salon, hoping that Marissa would not notice her sudden disappearance.

Seth cursed at himself. This was not the way it was supposed to happen. Everything was so complicated. He wasn't sure that things could ever be the same ever again.

Poem: On Friendship by Roy Croft


	21. Pride will tear us both apart

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own the OC, but I wish I did.

Author's note: There's only about one or two more chapters left of this story--which is sad because it's my first ever published on ff.net. But hopefully you will enjoy reading this chapter and the rest of them. I'll try to get them to you as soon as I possibly can. I'll be updating my other stories soon as well, so keep an eye out for them. The last installment of **Lady in Red **will definitely be coming tomorrow. Enjoy and please leave some reviews, as we near the end, I want to know what you thought of the story as a whole. Thanks.

One

Chapter 21: Pride will tear us both apart

Summer emerged from Marcy's office with a huge smile on her face. The promotion was hers, she was going to Paris! Finally, she could get away from everything; she could have time to herself and run away once more from her problems. She had been back in New York for almost a month since the wedding, but it felt like only days after. His words stuck in her memory, and no matter where she went or what she did, he was always on her mind. But, with a new position in a new location, maybe she could put him in the past where he belonged.

Seth, still in LA, did not give up that easily. He tried to contact her by phone once or twice a day--her secretary held all the calls. He tried letters, emails, whatever. Nothing. She was very good at ignoring him. He had finally told Brett about Summer, and how she was his inspiration for the show, and Brett had encouraged his friend to go after her, chase the girl he was in love with. And he was doing just that, but not really getting anywhere. But he had a plan that was bound to work. All he had left to do was get the girl.

---

"Summer? There are a whole lot of deliverymen here to see you."

"From where? Are they bringing in the Barbara Bui shoes that I ordered from Barneys?"

"No, I don't think so. I think you have to see this."

Summer walked outside of her office and gasped. A dozen or so men stood around the office, each holding a large flowerpot of orchids. Different sizes, colors, and shapes; he had remembered that they were her favorite flowers.

"Where should we put these ma'am?"

"Umm, I guess around the office, wherever there is space." Katie began cleaning up desk space and other employees started poking their heads out into the hall to see what was going on. The men arranged the flowers in the office, but one man stepped up to Summer and held a clear box out to her.

"This is the last one. Have a nice day."

"Thank you, you have a nice day also," the box held an exact duplicate of the corsage she had worn to the Winter Formal lying on top of a piece of paper that said. _You can try to forget and deny me, but you will always remember us. We are undeniable._

---

The throngs of teenagers in the studio screamed as the young VJ returned to the stage to introduce the next segment.

"Hey guys, welcome back to TRL on this beautiful hot as hell summer day. Our next guest is no stranger to TRL, and you know he's created the hottest new teen drama on TV. On the video phone straight from LA to tell you the scoop on the upcoming two part season finale, Seth Cohen from _One Marino Way_!!! The kids all screamed as Seth's image splashed on the video monitors in the studio.

"Hey everyone." The in studio crowd roared back at Seth--everyone was so excited for the season finale. Everyone was talking about it.

"Hey man, how's it going?"

"Great, really hectic right now, but great."

"Congratulations. The last time we talked, was like 4-5 months ago, but the success of the show has been phenomenal. I hear you've just gotten picked up for the 2 seasons?"

"Yeah, we just signed a contract for two more seasons, hopefully more in the future. I want to thank all the fans for watching the show. I mean, really thank you guys."

"Well, thank you for making such an interesting and hot show. So, what do you have planned for the upcoming season finale?"

"Well, I'll try not to leak out too much, but Jess and Melissa will be heating up as a couple, but not with some interference by Cara. And Jason will still be struggling to keep his financial problems from Julia, who may or may not be having doubts about their marriage."

"And what about the super couple, Sam and Jamie?"

"Everyone always wants to know about Sam and Jamie. Well, they'll be working out their problems--I can't really say if they are going to end up together at the end of the season, but I can say that everything will come full circle. You're just going to have to stay tuned, I guess."

"Oh, why do you have to play us that way, man?"

"Sorry dude."

"So, how do you get the inspiration for Sam and Jamie. We've heard in interviews that you say you were totally like Sam in high school. Does that mean that there was a real-life Jamie?"

"Um, well, yeah I guess so. She's still around, but we're not together, even though I'd like to be because I'm still in love with her. So, if you're listening, I just want to say I'm sorry."

"Whoa! You heard it here first on TRL, there is a real life Jamie Clarke out there and Seth is very sorry, so come on, take him back. He wants to be with you."

"Thanks Jaymon."

"No problem, man. _One Marino Way_ is on Tuesday nights, 9/8 Central on the WB, so check it out!!!"

"Thanks a lot guys."

"Thank you, Seth. Seth Cohen everybody! We'll be right back after this break with your number 3 video on the countdown. Yeah!!!"

Summer quickened her pace on the elliptical machine. She was at the gym and she was being subjected to torture. It was just her luck that they'd be playing a rerun of that day's TRL while she was doing her workout. She couldn't escape it.

"Oh my god, Gina, can you believe it? That was so sweet. I hope he finds her and she takes him back. Sam and Jamie have such a tumultuous relationship, that would suck if it happened like that in real life."

"Please, he should just dump her and get with me. Seth Cohen is hot!"

"I know, she's so lucky. He's like hot and talented. His show is so good."

"Oh, yeah, did you see the episode where Callie and Randy get into the fight over Valentine's Day? Or the one where Sam declares his love for Jamie in the middle of the lunchroom?"

"How about the one where Jess helps Melissa get away from her mom?"

"Oh, in the hospital? Then he brings her the flowers? So cute."

Summer rolled her eyes and continued striding quickly. _Only a few minutes left, then you can get away from this._ The MTV news logo flashed across the screen and Suchin Pak chirped on about the day's news.

"Everyone is talking about _One Marino Way _creator Seth Cohen's mystery woman. On TRL today, Cohen leaked that his beloved characters, Sam and Jamie are based after himself and a girl from his past." The same clip on TRL played while all the women in the gym stopped to look at the television. "_Rolling Stone_ later leaked an interview that will be featured in an upcoming issue in which he states, "In the beginning it was back and forth like Sam and Jamie. She'd mess it up and then I would. But this last time, I really messed the relationship up badly, and I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to see me again, but I want her to know that I love her with all my heart and that this is my Lloyd Dobbler moment." Sources close to Cohen say that he has been in love with his Jamie for a long time and that Sam's miserable experience in love completely mirrors his own experience with her. If you'd like to find out more information on Seth Cohen or _One Marino Way_ check out MTV.com. Or check us out 10 to the hour, every hour with MTV news, where you hear it first."

The women all let out their sighs and swoons. How romantic they whispered, life was imitating screen. _She's so lucky. I would kill to have someone declare their love for me like that. How sweet of him. How sad for him. _These women didn't even know anything about them. He was not going to win her back with some publicity stunt for his show. She grabbed her stuff from the locker room and headed out the door quickly, back into the land of reality.

Summer collapsed on her couch upon entering her apartment. She was drenched in sweat and summer rain. Kenji sniffed her first, but decided against greeting her by licking at her legs. The rooms smelt of his orchids--fragrant, but a little bitter. She didn't know why she was running away. She just had to. She couldn't give into him, no matter how much she wanted to. She had pride that she could not sacrifice. So did he. But he had laid it all on the line, everything was out there. Now it was her turn. The ball was in her court. She could decide what she wanted to do with his heart, and hers. Hopefully she'd make the right decision for the both of them.

Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue,   
Thought I heard you talking softly   
I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio   
Still I can't escape the ghost of you   
  
What is happening to it all?   
Crazy some say-   
Where is the life that I recognize?   
Gone away  
  
But I won't cry for yesterday  
There's an ordinary world somehow I have to find   
And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world   
I will learn to survive   
  
Passion or coincidence once prompted me to say-   
Pride will tear us both apart   
Well now pride's gone out the window, cross the rooftops, runaway   
Left me in the vacuum of my heart   
  
What is happening to me?   
Crazy some say  
Where is my friend when I need you most?   
Gone away  
  
Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed,   
Feared today; forgot tomorrow   
Here beside the news of holy war and holy need,   
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk-   
Blown away  
  
Just blowing away

Ordinary World by Duran Duran


	22. All that you can't leave behind

__

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own the OC or anything for that matter.

Author's Note: Since a lot of characters on TV shows have been going off to Paris lately (Rachel on Friends, Lana on Smallville) , I thought I'd have Summer do the same in this story. Also, in this chapter, everything comes full circle from the first chapter--just like the season finale sort of, we're in an airport again, but this time leaving NY. And there's another U2 song in this chapter! There are probably only two chapters left in this story, so please enjoy and leave feedback for me. Thanks for reading…

One

Chapter 22: All that you can't leave behind

"We're going to miss you so much, Summer!"

"Thanks, I'm going to miss you all too!" It was her last day at work. It was so strange, turning in her last article for the magazine ever, "How to have the perfect wedding…" There were pictures that were taken at Ryan and Marissa's wedding. Everyone commended her on the article, it was a perfect way to end her run at _Skin Deep._ Tonight she was leaving for Paris. She was excited and anxious, but at the same time scared out of her mind. There was so much uncertainty. New surroundings, new people. The Paris fashion scene was very different and more unforgiving than the New York one. And she had never actually lived out of the country before. She smiled at the thought as Katie brought her another gift.

"This one is from Tom from the clothes department." Summer opened the large box and beheld the cutest traveling outfit she had ever seen. A Hermes scarf, Chanel sunglasses, a daring Cavalli top, Tocca pants, a Hogan tote bag, and Manolo Blahnik mules.

"Wow, Tom, you didn't have to!"

"Well, you have to make your Charles De Gaulle debut in the highest style."

"Thank you so much. Thank you to everyone, I really hope that the people in the Paris office will be as fun and as generous a bunch as you all are, because I couldn't have picked a better group of individuals to work with for these past 3 years. Thanks so much." She got teary as the group came and gave their last hugs and gave their well wishes. But now she was almost on her way.

"Summer, wait," she turned around and saw Katie, shyly holding a small package, "this is a little something from me. Kind of my way of saying thanks for being such a great boss and being so patient with me. Good luck!" some tears began to fall, but she tried to brush them away.

"Aww, it's okay, Katie. Thank you for being so patient with me! You've been so great, and I know you're going to have a great career at _Skin Deep_. Thanks so much for this, should I open it now?"

"NO! I mean, no. You have to promise me that you'll open it as soon as you get on the plane."

"Hmm, okay. So it's something I can use for my flight. Cool, thanks again. I gotta get going though, I have to do so many things before I leave tonight, it's ridiculous."

"Okay, bye Summer, good luck and don't forget to call us and tell us about your exciting life."

"I won't forget, good luck to you too. Bye, Katie." Katie waved at her former employer and marveled at the change that Summer had undergone in the last few months. Just a short while ago, she had been impatient and harsh with everyone, but ever since she had come back from that wedding, she had been so much more kind and warm with everyone.

---

Summer gathered up her things and looked at her empty apartment. Everything was gone. It was now just a shell. She had given Kenji to Marissa; there was no way she could raise a dog and herself in the tiny apartment that she had found in France. It wasn't fair to him. Marissa called with daily updates of Kenji and Ryan's escapades. Apparently, Ryan was scared of dogs, especially little ones that really could do no harm. Most of her things had been shipped to Paris or back home to Newport. She smiled and turned off the lights, walking down to the lobby where a cab was already waiting for her. "Goodbye New York."

---

She sat in the waiting area, looking at the different people waiting with her. There were mostly tourists, going back home to Europe. A few business people and families going on vacation. A couple sat a few feet from her, kissing and holding hands. They must have just been married and were probably going on their honeymoon. He whispered something in her ear and she giggled sweetly. They were in love. It was obvious to everyone. Summer sighed and walked over to the gift shop. She hovered around the fashion magazines, picking out a few for her long plane ride. She stopped when she reached the entertainment magazines. _Rolling Stone._ He was on the cover, the caption read _TV's New Wunderkid: Luckiest Loser on the Planet_. Her fingers lingered over the cover as she mulled over the decision to pick it up or not.

Not.

She had to leave him behind. He would not ruin this for her. Pre-boarding for her flight was called over the PA system, so she quickly paid for the magazines and ran back to the gate. It was time to leave it all behind.

---

Sitting on the plane, Summer dreamily gazed out of her window at all the lights that were fading out behind her. New York City was so beautiful at night.

"We have reached an altitude where portable electronic devices such as CD players and laptops can be used." Summer reached into her bag and felt around for her iPOD so she could listen to the perfect album for this occasion: U2's _All that you can't leave behind_. Instead she found the package that Katie had given her earlier. She unwrapped the plainly wrapped package to find a CD marked _Summer, please watch this: Walk On_.

She took out her personal DVD player and slipped the disc in. For the first few seconds the screen was blank, but eventually, a southern California beach scene appeared. Seth walked out on the beach and sat down in the sand.

"Hi Summer. I don't want you to be mad that I did this, especially not at Katie. She didn't have anything to do with it. I just wanted to clear some things up before you left. First, I want to apologize for ever hurting you. I have always had so much respect and love for you, but I was stupid and foolish and I deserve to be called every profanity, every bad name in the book for treating you like I did. I'm also sorry for the way I acted during the wedding. I put you in a difficult position and I'm sorry about that. However, I do not regret kissing you. I never have regretted any show of affection towards you. I just wanted to feel you one last time before I lost you forever. I know that you are starting your new life and that this life does not include me in it, but I will never forget you and the impact that you have had on my life. You were everything to me, you're the reason I've done so well for myself. Everything we've been through, it doesn't matter to me. So, I hope that one day you can forgive me. Before you came to me, I was a worthless loser who had no reason for anyone to even pay attention to him. When we were together, I was the best person I could be. Everyone was right and perfect. When you left me, I became this angry, drunk loser who was petulant and an asshole. But when you came back, your presence changed me for the better again. This sounds like rambling, but the point is : you will always make me better than I deserve to be. It has always been you.

But, you can deny me now. But I will not deny you because for me, you've always been undeniable. I know that I've lost you, so this will be the last time I try to contact you. The Seth and Summer book is done and is closing for good. I never intentionally wanted to hurt you, but feelings got in the way. I'll stop writing about you and me, and if you want me to, I will finally let you go. But I will always keep you in my heart. And I will never love anyone as much as I love you. Good luck. I love you."

Summer wiped the tears off her face and she tried not to cry too loudly. The reality struck her hard. She was free from him. He would no longer bother her or try to reconcile. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? Maybe not. She loved him more than anything in the world. And even though they had both gone out of their way to hurt each other, she didn't care. Their pride got in the way of happiness so many times, and this time was no different. Except for the fact that there would be no more chances. It was all said and done. Seth and Summer were nonexistent. He had let go. Now it was her turn. She sobbed and dabbed her Hermes scarf on her face, not caring if she wrecked the thousand dollar creation. Tinkly music began to play as his show started up on the screen.

---

Jamie stepped off the airplane, her tear streaked face illuminated by dull glow of the gate tunnel's lights. She clutched the letter that Sam had sent to her pouring out all of his feelings. The letter that told her that he was over her and that he was letting go. But it was time for a change. It was summertime and she was far away from home, visiting her grandparents. She could forget about him over the next few months, and maybe even find someone else. Who was she kidding herself? She couldn't find anyone else that made her feel the way Sam did. They were meant to be, but she realized this too late. He was already gone. He had told her that he loved her, and she had rejected him just to realize that she loved him as well. She walked towards the light of the airport at the end of the tunnel. Curly brown hair. Polo shirt. It couldn't be.

He waited outside of her gate with an expectant smile on his face. He didn't know what to feel. He knew he was taking a big chance, but for Jamie everything was worth it. He would fall to the ends of the earth to be with her. She stood perfectly still, not knowing what to do. The man behind her grunted past. "Sam?" she whispered afraid that the oasis like image would disappear in front of her. He smiled more widely and held out his arms to her.

She dropped her bags and ran to where he was standing, ending up in his arms, kissing him deeply. "But the letter. You said you were letting go." She kissed him again softly. He broke the kiss and whispered, "Jamie, I love you. I would never let you go." He looked down at her, waiting patiently for an answer. Strong, sentimental guitar chords deepened the emotion of the scene. As Bono's deep, throaty voice floated out to Summer's ears, the flood of her eyes began once again.

And love…  
It's not the easy thing  
The only baggage  
That you can bring  
Not the easy thing  
The only baggage you can bring  
Is all that you can't leave behind  
  
And if the darkness is to keep us apart  
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off  
And if your glass heart should crack  
Before the second you turn back  
Oh no, be strong  
  
Walk on  
Walk on  
What you got, they can't steal it  
No they can't even feel it  
  
Walk on  
Walk on  
Stay safe tonight  
  
You're packing a suitcase for a place  
None of us has been  
A place that has to be believed  
To be seen  
  
You could have flown away  
A singing bird  
In an open cage  
Who will only fly  
Only fly for freedom  
  
Walk on  
Walk on  
What you got  
You can't deny it  
Can't sell it or buy it  
  
Walk on  
Walk on  
Stay safe tonight  
  
And I know it aches  
How your heart it breaks  
You can only take so much  
  
Walk on  
Walk on  
  
Home  
Hard to know what it is  
If you never had one  
  
Home  
I can't say where it is  
But I know I'm going  
  
Home  
That's where the hurt is  
  
And I know it aches  
And your heart it breaks  
You can only take so much  
Walk on  
  
Leave it behind  
You've got to leave it behind  
  
All that you fashion  
All that you make  
All that you build  
All that you break  
  
All that you measure  
All that you steal  
All this you can leave behind  
  
All that you reason  
All that you care  
  
It's only time  
And I'll never fill up all my mind   
  
All that you sense  
All that you speak  
All you dress up  
And all that you scheme  
  
All you create  
All that you wreck  
All that you hate

"I love you too, Sam." The screen faded to black.

Watching the episode gave Summer renewed hope. Maybe things would turn out alright for them. Life could imitate art, hopefully. She settled into a deep sleep, hoping that when she awoke, she would be in Paris, and Seth would be there waiting for her.

__

Walk On by U2


	23. Nothing can compare

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with the OC or Fox.

Author's Note: Well, it's almost over. :Sniffle: This was the first story I ever posted on ff.net, and now I'm almost done with it. There's one chapter left after this, and I hope that you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thanks to all the loyal reviewers and readers for giving me motivation to write. Your comments have really been very helpful to my writing. This chapter takes inspiration from the Countdown episode of the OC, you'll see why when you read it. I have **Still Fighting It **and another few stories in the works, so keep an eye out for my stories. Thanks and enjoy…

One

Chapter 23: Nothing can compare

Summer felt a poke on her shoulder. "Cohen?"

"No, sorry ma'am, we're about to land and we need you to return your seat back to its upright position."

"Sorry." Summer looked out the window at the landscape of France below. Paris was already bustling. She felt excited and scared, but not because of the new surroundings. The butterflies in her stomach were getting more restless. Would her fairytale come true?

She hurried off the plane as quickly as she could. She strode out of the gate, searching for his familiarity. Throngs of people surrounded her, and she couldn't see a thing. She stood on her tiptoes, looking for that curly mop of hair that she couldn't wait to run her hands through. Nothing. Her flight had landed early, so maybe he couldn't get there on time. She sat down on one of the seats, waiting for the large crowd to thin out. Her eyes darted around the terminal, looking for any sign of him. She checked her watch several times a minute. The people in the terminal rushed past her, wondering why that American girl was sitting alone in the seating area. She got up and walked around, maybe he was at another gate, thinking it was her flight. She wondered where he was. Sam had found Jamie, so why hadn't he found her yet? _He's just late. I'm sure he'll be coming through the doors in a few seconds from now._

Seconds became minutes, and minutes became an hour. An hour became two. She buried her head in her hands. He wasn't coming for her after all. He meant everything he said. He had let go, hoping that she would do the same. She would never have a teary airport reunion. She would not get the chance to tell him how she felt. A fresh batch of tears formed at her eyes and she couldn't hold them in. They were done. Seth and Summer were no more. Her chest heaved as the other people in the airport stared at her. An old woman offered her a tissue, which she gratefully took. She tried to clean herself up and look halfway decent to meet her driver, who had probably been waiting for all this time.

She flipped open her phone and started dialing his number.

"Allo, Miss Roberts?" his thick accent did not comfort her one bit. It only served to remind her that she was in France, while the love of her life was back in California.

"Hello, I'm sorry, have you been waiting long?"

"No, not at all. I've just picked up your luggage and will bring the car up to the curb at terminal B. I will hold up a sign with your name on it, so just come out and find me."

"Thank you." She gathered her carry-on bags, pointed her head high and walked towards the exit. She may have lost the love of her life, but she would not lose her pride.

As she exited terminal B, she was greeted with dozens and dozens of people. Her visibility was lost. Everything was hot and a jumble to her. She could barely see the exit as people pushed past her and bumped into her, rushing to get their luggage and meet their parties. Finally she saw the door. A black Lincoln town car was parked outside and a man was leaning on it, holding a sign up that said her name and something else that she could not read. Finally. She could go home and relax before the daily grind of the magazine world started up again. The man turned to look for her through the crowd.

Curly hair. Dark, bright eyes. It could not be.

He was dressed in black pants and a Ben Sherman shirt. He stopped talking to a dark suited man when he saw her coming towards them. Suddenly, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. He dropped the sign and straightened, looking frightened and awestruck at the same time. He held open his arms to her. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her even though it felt like she was running in slow motion, reaching her final destination, the softness of his arms, the smoothness of his lips.__

I was crying

Over you

I am smiling

I think of you

Where your gardens have no walls

Breathe in the air, if you care, you compare

Don't say farewell

Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

I was crying

Over you

I am smiling

I think of you

Misty mornings and waterfalls

Breathe in the air, if you care, you compare

Don't say farewell

And nothing care compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

Virtual sensibility

Escape velocity

Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

Nothing can compare

To when you roll the dice and swear your love's for me

Breathe in the air if you care, you compare

Don't say farewell

Nothing…

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He broke the kiss and showed her the sign. _Summer Roberts, please forgive me. _"I thought you weren't coming, that you had actually let go." He looked at her and smiled, kissing her forehead and pulling her closer to him.

"Summer, I love you. I would never let you go." He kissed her again, letting his arms run through her hair. Feeling what was meant to be felt.

"I love you, too Seth."

"Wait a minute…hold that thought. Your carriage awaits…" He opened the door to the limo and let her peek inside. Several bouquets of orchids, champagne, and soft music greeted her. She hugged him and kissed his cheek. Everything was turning out perfectly.

"Wow, I don't know what to say, Seth."

"Say that you will accept my apology and that you will accept me." He looked at her hopefully and waited for her answer…

To be continued…

Dice by Finley Quaye featuring Beth Orton and William Orbit


	24. it's a beautiful day

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Fox owns the OC, I own nothing.

Author's Note: Well here it is, the last chapter. Thanks to all who have read this story (my first). It's been a long run, but we've finally come to the end. It's a short chapter, but I think it wraps everything up, so I hope you enjoy. Thanks again, and keep an eye out for my other stories.

One

Chapter 24: It's a beautiful day

"I do." She looked into his eyes and saw everything she had been searching for in a man. Everything in their past, everything that had happened, good or bad, was over. They were together now. Nothing else mattered. Her happy ending was finally happening with the one man whom she would always be with in the end.

"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride." Seth stepped on the cloth covered wine glass and the wedding party yelled, "Matzel Tov!" Seth grinned widely and lifted her veil, kissing her passionately. Summer was his wife. How long had he waited for this moment? Forever it seemed. He saw through his blindness and found what he was always meant to find. The one person he would spend every day for the rest of his life with. He couldn't imagine being without her. He didn't know how he subsisted for so long.

Sandy and Kirsten sat in the front row, looking at their son and his new wife with the breathtaking backdrop of the sea behind them. Marissa grabbed onto Ryan's hand as he dabbed her eyes with a tissue. It was beautiful. Everything had worked out in the end. Seth was happy and a new man. He found someone who made him as happy as his parents made each other. Kirsten furiously wiped the tears off her face. Her baby was married. It was just yesterday that he was running around the house in his underroos pretending he was Batman. Well, actually it probably _was_ just yesterday, but whatever. He found his confidence and zest for life again. That made her proud. He looked so happy up there, holding Summer's hand. This was the way life was supposed to be. Sandy smiled warmly at her and kissed her hand.

"We did it." Summer whispered as the photographer snapped photo after photo.

"We did, I can't believe it. I'm married to the most gorgeous woman in the world."

"I love you." Summer grabbed her husband (Her husband!) and kissed him.

"I love you."

"I cannot wait until I have you all alone on the boat. Maybe we should sail to Japan instead of Tahiti, then we'll have more time all by ourselves."

"Ooh, I like the way you think, Mrs. Cohen!" She smiled, it had a great ring to it. He kissed her again as she took his hand. The music started and they smiled brightly at all of their friends and family. The couple ran down the gauzy tulle pathway towards the awaiting car. Their friends and family cheered, clapped and blew bubbles and threw rose petals at them. Finally after all these years, they had found each other. They were finally happy.

They were finally one.

The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground   
But there's no room, no space to rent in this town   
You're out of luck, and the reason that you had to care   
The traffic is stuck, and you're not moving anywhere   
You thought you'd found a friend, to take you out of this place   
Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace

It's a beautiful day  
The sky falls, and you feel like   
It's a beautiful day   
Don't let it get away

You're on the road, but you've got no destination   
You're in the mud, in the maze of her imagination   
You love this town, even if that doesn't ring true   
You've been all over, and it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day   
Don't let it get away   
It's a beautiful day   
Touch me   
Take me to that other place   
Teach me   
I know I'm not a hopeless case.

See the world in green and blue   
See China right in front of you   
See the canyons broken by cloud   
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out   
See the Bedouin fires at night   
See the oil fields at first light, and   
See the bird with a leaf in her mouth   
After the flood all the colors came out

Day…

It was a beautiful day   
Don't let it get away   
Beautiful day

Touch me   
Take me to that other place   
Reach me   
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have, you don't need it now   
What you don't know, you can feel it somehow   
What you don't have, you don't need it now   
Don't need it now . . .   
Was a beautiful day…

The End

Beautiful Day by U2

You know I just had to end it with a song by U2. Thanks for reading…


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